When Washington Was Third Party

June 15, 1775

Fresh off the Battles of Lexington and Concord, the rebellious American Colonies had entered into a conflict which most colonial citizens considered hopeless and pointless. Most colonial citizens were content to live under British rule. At the time, American’s were considered among the most wealthy and prosperous peoples in the world. The desire for independence and freedom was shared only by a small group of men and women who understood the evil of tyranny and blessings of liberty. In response to the impending conflict with the world’s mightiest empire, the Continental Congress created the Continental Army just one day before. With war just on the horizon, Congress had to answer one important question: Who would lead the Continental Army?

When analyzed from the perspective of disparity and bleakness that shadowed the Colonial cause, you would understand just how important this choice would be. After all, military failure wouldn’t just mean the end of an idealist social experiment. Failure meant a ruthless and unbridled retaliation from a powerful and unforgiving tyrant. If the colonial rebels were to lose the war, they would lose their land, their status, and even their own heads. Their success - their survival – depended entirely upon the Commander-In-Chief of the Continental Army.

Delegates to the Continental Congress nominated men whom they considered fit for the position. Most support coalesced around two candidates. The first of these two possessed an intimate knowledge of British military tactics. In fact, among all the nominees for the position, no one could boast more experience in terms of military service. When the war had become an inevitable reality, he defected from the Royal forces in order to volunteer his services to the colonies. His name was Charles Lee, and many, including himself, expected that he be named Commander-In-Chief of the Continental Army. Lee was erratic and unconventional. Historical accounts described his behavior as loutish and prideful. His language was coarse and boorish. Despite having some significant achievement, he felt a constant need to inflate his reputation with lengthy and exaggerated accounts. Still, he was highly decorated and willing to assume charge of the Continental Army – for a price of course.

The second candidate was the perfect contrast to the personality of General Charles Lee. He was a humbler man, perhaps too humble for the liking of some within the Continental Congress. Considerably more reserved and polished than Charles Lee, many thought him too hesitant, too indecisive, too “damnably deficient”. Nonetheless, support for George Washington was strong. Of the two nominees, Washington’s character fell most in line with the principles that the Continental Congress revered. On paper, the decision seemed illogical, maybe even suicidal. But in reality, there was not better man suited for the job.

History remembers George Washington as the lowly General who won the most hopeless war with the most hapless army. As for Charles Lee… I would wager you’ve never heard of the guy. In hindsight, the decision to elect Washington over Lee saved the revolution and cemented the cause of freedom in the American Colonies, and eventually the world. At the time, American’s needed to choose between the tyranny of the Crown, the crass leadership of Lee, or the principled leadership of Washington. Most chose complacency with the Crown, but for a small and principled group of men and women, the decision was made in favor of Washington. Thank God for principled decisions!

Tyranny & Lawlessness

Coarse & Boorish

Principles & Conscience

Where have we seen these three choices before?

When I consider the current race for American leadership, I can’t help but see the similarities between the choices we face now and the choices the founding fathers had to make too. Make no mistake, our situation does not look too promising. Turmoil, both foreign and domestic, seems to simmer hotter and hotter and no one knows exactly at what point things will come to a boil. The way I see things, we too must make a choice similar to the one made by the founding fathers and mothers: Do we choose the steady decay of personal liberty and freedom? Do we choose the lesser of two evils? Or do we choose principle and a clear conscience? Only one choice saved this nation in 1775. Only one choice will save it again.

Of course, this choice flies straight in the face of the “Now or Never” crowd. I have heard it over and over again. Even now, I am told to hold my nose and swallow the Trump nomination like the sour pill that it is. People that I once revered and respected have let out the cry “WIN AT ALL COSTS!” Not only do I find this strategy sad, it is downright repulsive. Those who believe and circulate this narrative belong in the laziest class of citizens. This belief is a sordid self-abnegation of your sacred civic duty to oppose tyranny and corruption. The logic dictates that if the bad candidate wins, your power stops at the ballot box. In essence, you say I give up! I give in! I give out!

This sentiment was best demonstrated in a recent conversation I was privy to regarding the concept of third party voting:

“Vote your conscience if you really think that is gonna make a difference for the world. Then tell your children the story of America and how she used to be the land of opportunity for free people…”

Do you notice the backwards assertion that America is a land for free people, yet voting with your conscience and free-will outside of bonds of a major party is unconscionable? Tell me again how much you value freedom of speech? Freedom of expression? Freedom to assemble? Such is hypocrisy beyond absurdity – reasoning beyond rationality.

I will vote my conscience. I guess in some ways my vote may not count, at least not in the sense that everyone else thinks it should count. I accept that. And when the time comes, I will explain to my kids that I voted on character, on policy, and on principle.

I will do this because I believe a time will come when I must make a bigger principled stand.

I will do this because I believe that my power as a citizen does no stop at the ballot box.

I will do this because I believe that I can help win over the hearts and minds of those who disagree.

I will do this because I believe my kids need to know that principles are important in any circumstance.

I will do this because I believe that I will have to provide an account of where I stood and with whom I stood.

Washington was the principled choice for his time, if not the popular choice. In the short term, it appeared as if he was indeed the wrong choice. The British delivered to the Continental Army one disheartening defeat after another. Many called for Washington’s dismissal. However, every time the cause of freedom teetered on the brink of disaster, Washington prevailed. He prevailed because he made principled choices that aligned with his conscience. Washington always lived to fight another day.

Even now, the cause of freedom does not hinge on a single battle. It doesn’t even end after several battles. America only ends when we cease to do battle – when we cease to fight against corruption, vileness, and tyranny, regardless of party or platform. My allegiance is not to person or party. My allegiance is to my conscience and my country

Motes, Beams, & Packrats

Take a moment to summon in your mind the image of that one person most responsible for your troubles. Who comes to mind? Is it your boss? A brother? Sister? Parent? Child? One winter, during my senior year of high-school, I would have told you it was the boy who occupied the locker right next to mine. At a time when my sculpted hair and hygienic swagger were my primary concerns, I started to presume that my locker neighbor paid little attention to minor details of personal sanitation.

Something about him stunk, though I could not quite put my finger on it. When the smell persisted, I attempted to pinpoint the source hoping that I might reveal it to him without hurting any feelings. Day after day, I failed to find the source. And day after day, I grew increasingly annoyed. It became so awful, that I began to notice the smells in class, at practice, and even at home. I hated to think how the smells might affect my social standing. I was eager to confront him about the smell, but I was unwilling to do so without the evidence.

One day after school, I returned home stewing about the problem with such intensity that I nearly failed to notice the plumber my mother had called to repair our clothes dryer. He left the house looking pale, sickly, and a little disturbed. Once he had left, I asked my mother what was the matter with him. Obviously queasy herself, she explained that he had spent the last hour unclogging the dryer exhaust. Some packrat attempted to escape the harsh Canadian winter by climbing into the warm dryer exhaust, only to get hopelessly stuck deep within the pipes. Judging by the rancid decomposition of the rodent, it was determined that the packrat had been stuck in the pipes for quite some time – about three weeks’ worth by the plumber’s best estimate. For those of you who don’t do your own laundry, that amounts to approximately twenty-seven dryer cycles, each with the potent scent of mummified packrat.

With eyes and nostrils wide open, I knew I had discovered the source

Do you still have that one person in mind? You know… the one most responsible for your troubles? The swindler? The fake? The ill-mannered? Consider for a moment your interactions with that person and in light of my own experience, ask yourself this one question: Who really stinks?

Christ himself famously asked this question with a little more sophistication when he said:

“And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?” (Luke 6:41)

Let’s face it. We all possess a powerful proclivity towards finding fault in others. Equally powerful is our ability to dismiss our own shortcomings. These two behaviors always build upon each other, escalating our ignorance and curtailing our kindness. Most of us will recognize the relationship between finding fault and avoiding self-examination. But do we adequately understand the lasting consequences of unjust blaming and short-sighted accusations?

Consider the example of Saul and David:

Once considered a righteous and venerated king, King Saul of Israel allowed pride and disobedience to impair his ability to reign and govern. King Saul refused to address his own shortcomings and repent of them. Instead, he obsessed over David and his growing popularity. Jealousy provoked Saul into finding David’s weaknesses in the hopes that he might exploit them. It is Saul’s preoccupation with David that caused him to lose his friend, his kingdom, his sons, and even his own life. Furthermore, Saul’s inability to address his own weaknesses resulted in widespread division, bloodshed, and chaos.

Saul’s example might seem a bit extreme, but through the lens of scriptural history, this pattern always repeats itself. When Laman and Lemuel blamed Nephi for their woes, their misguided view not only divided their immediate families, but they also laid the foundation for a centuries-long struggle between two nations. What started as a matter of individual pride developed into a grudge, a broken family, a contentious community, and eventually a shattered nation. The seeds of oppression, conquest, corruption, and enmity do not plague the community until they have first taken root in an individual’s own heart. Furthermore, these seeds do not take root in an individual’s heart unless they are inclined to find their neighbor’s motes whilst ignoring their own beams.

There exists an old tune that titled Let Each Man Learn to Know Himself. It goes as follows:

Let each man learn to know himself;

To gain that knowledge let him labor,

Improve those failings in himself,

Which he condemns so in his neighbor.

How lenient our own faults we view,

And consciences voice adeptly smother,

Yet, oh, how harshly we review,

The self-same failings in another.

Example sheds a genial ray,

Which oft-times men are apt to follow;

So first improve yourself today,

And then improve your friends tomorrow.

If you really want to make a difference in your marriage, your family, and your community, then we must make a serious effort to be our best selves while at the same time make an honest effort to see the best in others.

Of course there are those situations where the exercise of righteous judgment is still necessary. You can't just ignore or dismiss unrighteous behavior. Evil will always be evil, and good must be called good. However, even in many of these circumstances, the exercise of self-examination will accomplish more than simply accusing and condemning others. By taking the path of introspection and self-improvement, whether you are right or wrong, you will always arrive at a better place.

Hopefully now you possess a better understanding about how our obsession with fault and blame holds us back as individuals and communities. And hopefully you forgive me for the blatant irony in my attempt to write about this topic. It is hardly my intention to point out a mote in your eye. If  anything, my aim here is to highlight the observations I have made while attempting to explore my own struggles with introspection and self-improvement. If you will allow it, I would like to share some of my observations about how we might best overlook the mote in our neighbor's eye and how me might best address the beam in our own eye. Maybe one of these suggestions will ring true for you as they have for me.

Serve and Be Served

One useful tool we can utilize in our efforts to better see ourselves is the act of service. There are few things that facilitate the feelings of empathy and care more than the act of service. Walking a mile in someone else's shoes often allows us to see the world from someone else's perspective. Being a helpful presence in the life of someone in need not only removes the beam from our own eye, but it often helps us understand the mote in another’s. But equally important to serving others is allowing others to serve us.

Following my two years of missionary service overseas, I moved to Utah to begin my first semester of school at Utah Valley University. The move prompted a number of changes, but I was nonetheless eager to get on with the next chapter of life. As winter approached, I never gave thought to the changing conditions of the roads. After all, I had left Canada with an impeccable driving record in spite of the ice and snow that plagued Canadian roads. I figured that a mild winter in Utah County would be exactly that…mild.

One thing I failed to consider was the entirely inadequate winter performance of my recently purchased Kia Optima sedan. I had managed well for most of the winter with no incident, but one ill-advised u-turn placed me and my car in an icy curbside trap. In an effort to spare my pride, I spun my wheels to no avail. In my rearview mirror, I noticed a large jacked up truck pulling up behind me. When it stopped, two denim clad cowboy figures emerged from the cab and approached my bumper. I had judged that by the smile on their face, they likely shared a good laugh about the soggy slacked city slicker who had just hit the ditch in front of them. Pity obviously got the best of them and they decided to help push the poor chump out.

I will admit to being less than enthused about receiving their help. My manly image was clearly in question. I wanted to protest that I, like them, was a macho country man who could handle trucks, tractors, and winter conditions with the best of them. I never did say much to them besides a superficial “thank you”. I look back now and understand that I viewed my rescuers through a lens of pride and ego. Even more disturbing to me, is that I allowed my pride to conjure up a false accusation that these kind men were the ones being prideful. I still feel great regret over my attitudes that day.

By not accepting the service of others, you only stifle their opportunity to develop spiritually and you unwittingly create an increasingly jaded opinion of them. But if you allow others to serve you, you provide them an opportunity to grow and you provide yourself with an opportunity to view them in a different, more favorable, light. Accepting help graciously allows us to remove the beam in our eye and also diminish the mote in the eye of another.

Consider the Advice of Others

If you feel that you possess an incredible gift for identifying important improvements for others, you can surely count on someone else identifying what areas of life you might improve on! The moral and spiritual responsibility to grow and improve is ours and ours alone. That being said, if we are indeed serious about becoming our best self, you don't have to do so without help. All of us, to some degree, enjoy the company of good and honorable people. If we are truthfully interested in improving ourselves and the world around us, we must listen closely to those people who have a genuine interest in our well-being.

Accepting the advice of others can be a major stumbling block for many of us. Often times, our interpretation of another’s words, actions, or even inaction, can boil our emotions like heat boiling a pot of water; simmering hotter and hotter until it all boils over and someone ends up burnt. Unless we handle such situations with maturity and a healthy dose of trust, we will end up feeling betrayed and scorned. But if we understand the source of criticism and trust the sincerity behind it, then we can use the gentle criticisms of other's to improve ourselves and our relationships.

Don’t Do the Easy Thing

Perhaps the best way identify and remove the beam from our eye is to avoid doing the easy thing. Finding fault is easy. Blaming others is easy. Being the victim is easy. Human nature dictates that we seek to do the easy thing, especially in the business of motes and beams. Most of us find the process of self-examination to be an incredibly difficult task. Few things cause more discomfort than realizing that our misery and misfortune are actually the result of our own imperfections AND NOT the imperfections of others.

Theodore Roosevelt once quipped that “if you could kick the person in the pants responsible for most of your trouble, you wouldn’t be able to sit for a month.” This statement is both comical and insightful. Recognizing our deficiencies hurts, especially if we determine that we might actually be that person responsible for our own hardships. That might be the hardest pill to swallow, until we then we understand that the only person standing between us and our happiness is indeed our self. Coming to this realization is hard. So hard, that many of us choose to do the easy thing instead: place the responsibility squarely on the shoulders of someone else.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf illustrated this struggle pointedly with another scriptural example.

“It was our beloved Savior’s final night in mortality, the evening before He would offer himself a ransom for all mankind. As he broke bread with His disciples, He said something that must have filled their hearts with great alarm and deep sadness. ‘One of you shall betray me,’ He told them.”

“The disciples didn’t question the truth of what He said. Nor did they look around, point to someone else, and ask, ‘Is it him?’

“Instead, they were exceedingly sorrowful, and began every one of them to say unto him, “Lord, is it I?”

In a moment when asking ‘Is it him?’ might have seemed entirely appropriate, the early disciples instead asked the harder question: “Lord, Is it I?”

Though it is not the easy path, asking the question “Is it I?” will lead us down the path of wisdom, personal mastery, and lasting change.

It takes real courage and true grit to look at yourself and admit fault. I am hopeful that we might all do better to remove the beam from our own eye while

minimize the mote in the eye of another. If, during your interactions with your family and friends, you smell a rat, don’t just follow your nose or go off a gut feeling. Avoid looking for the nearest, baddest, and smelliest rodent you can think of. Instead, consider what things are within your power to change and then change them.

What Mothers Need

This post has been a long time coming. From the time I wrote my thoughts on fatherhood in 2014, I have looked forward with good intentions to express equal reverence for motherhood. This intention felt like an emotional itch, one that I didn’t want to scratch it until an appropriate time. Mother’s Day naturally felt like the right time to do it.

So I waited. I waited through a pleasant Canadian summer. I waited through a challenging fall semester at school. I waited through a cold 2015 new year. However, the problem with waiting is that your memories and intentions don’t always wait with you. Mother’s Day 2015 arrived and my procrastination replaced the feelings of gratitude with feelings of regret and shame.

Those feelings have secretly dogged me for the better part of a year. The words “honor thy father AND thy mother” replayed in my mind over and over again. It did not sit well with me that I left a job half done. My mother taught better than that. So, in honor of my mother, I will take to heart her personal teaching of “never do a half-assed job!”

(Somewhere Kathi Ann Gulbranson places her hand defensively over her chest and shouts “I NEVER SAID SUCH THINGS!”.)

Okay, okay, my mom was not the cursing type. We simply like to teasingly accuse her of it in order to see her flabbergasted, yet humorous, reaction. Quite the opposite is true. My mother emphasized respect, etiquette, and polite protocol in our household. If you want proof, simply set the table with the salad fork out of place and watch how annoyed I get.

Two years ago I tried to look at Father’s Day a little differently. I wanted to steer away from the standard question we all ask around the third week of June. Instead of asking “what does dad want?”, I asked “What does dad need?” In that same vein, I invite you to reflect upon what something other than cheap chocolates, last minute flowers, or ill-conceived “Good For 1 Foot-Rub” coupons. Instead, really ask yourself what your mom needs.

One good way to answer this question is the first understand just how much you need mom. What other human being would offer cooking, chauffeuring, cleaning, laundering, medicating, consoling, organizing, entertaining, lending, tolerating, monitoring, repairing, and advising services at no charge? She offers these services pro bono, and she still thinks you are awesome! Dad’s may offer some of these services too, but they rarely achieve such stellar customer satisfaction ratings.

A family structure is the best shelter for raising happy, healthy, and responsible children. Without a maternal presence, that structure often crumbles into a messy rubble. Motherhood is the family’s solidifying force that mostly goes unnoticed. That is, unless you take the time to look for it. Each meal, each service, and each show of motherly love equals another fastening nail in the family structure. Though her deeds may seem mundane and unspectacular, they make sure the walls stay up and the roof stays put.

That seems like a lot of responsibility, and it is. Children need their mothers more than anyone needs anybody. However, mom has some needs too. Carelessness and apathy are not enough to excuse us from meeting those needs. We need her so very much. But you might be surprised at how much she needs us too. Consider the following needs and see how you are meeting them:

Husbands:

1. Treat her kids well. There is no treasure more precious to a mother than the children that she bears. By virtue of having carried your children for months, she likely knows them better than you ever will. She knows their mind because she was the first to shape it. She knows their heart because she was the first to feel it. She knows their soul because she was the first to sense it. She loves her children deeply and unconditionally. By showing your love for her children, you will bring the harmony of family to a full circle. By showing antipathy towards them, you will bring it to a full stop.

2. Recognize her efforts. Mothers are not looking for ticker tape parades or prestigious ceremonies of merit. No, she wants something more subtle, but more meaningful. She wants your recognition. Thoughtful and sincere compliments will go a long way in showing your love and appreciation for her. She is your help-meet, and as such she helps you meet your potential in ways that you may not fully understand. She understands that your success means her success. Your happiness means her happiness. She needs to be acknowledged frequently and considerately for the contributions that she makes.

3. Make time for her. Time is one of the most valuable, yet limited, resources available to mom. Yet, in spite of those limitations, she chooses to spend her time in service of you and her children. Few things will convey your love and appreciation more than the giving of time. And, I don’t mean simply making time for dating, or quality one on one time. Making time could mean watching kids in order to make her some personal time. Making time could mean encouraging her to spend her time in clubs, teams, or groups. Making time for mom allows her the opportunity to sharpen her wits, improve her talents, and empower her character. When you consider how this might be beneficial to you and your family, this is kind of a no brainer. Mom needs time, and you can make time for her.

Children:

1. Get along with your siblings. Everything that your mother does is for the sake of harmony and peace in the home. That purpose perfectly sums up your mother’s motivations and desires. Some mothers will achieve this in different ways. Some mothers focus on providing timely meals or maintaining clean homes. Other mothers seek harmony through personal time or quiet spaces. Any way you slice it, mom needs to fulfill her goal of creating harmony. Nothing destroys harmony quicker than contention. When you contend with your brothers or sisters, think about what that might do to your mother. Imagine how it might make her feel. She would undoubtedly feel a sense of failure and misery. Therefore, make sincere efforts to get along with your siblings. Work things out in a civil and productive fashion. In doing so, you will contribute to the harmonious atmosphere that your mom so badly desires.

2. Let her love you. I know this might sound strange, but sometimes you have to let mom do her job. You need to learn things for yourself and pursue a path of individualism. But keep this in mind: your goals and paths may change, but her love for you does not. Accept each hug with grace. Consume each meal with gratitude. Receive each lesson with humility. Give your mother opportunities to express her love for you. She needs you to know how much she loves you. Admit it, you need that too.

3. Look beyond the mantle of maternity. Here is a real challenge for you. It is hard to see mom for anything but the awkwardly loving and occasionally overbearing parent. Sure, she picks the worst time to use terms of endearment. And yes, she has a knack for embarrassing you in front of company. However, your mom is not just a mom. Once you get to know her, you might be surprised to see that she might just be cool. For instance, my mother is not just a mom. She is a scholar. She is one of the brightest intellectuals I know. She understands history better than most collegiate professors. She also knows a thing or two about good music. Thanks to her, I know the Everly Brothers, Neil Diamond, Dion & The Belmonts, and many more. My mother happens to be one of the coolest people I know. In fact, I credit her with my desire to write, to debate, and to seek learning. She also happens to be a fantastic friend.

I know this all seems a little presumptuous. After all, I am not a mother and I have zero intentions to become one. This biological limitation could very well disqualify me from making an accurate opinion on the needs of women. Making assumptions as to what women need is a dangerous and volatile territory to navigate. Nevertheless, I stand by what I have said. Mothers need these things now more than ever.

I love my mother! I am so grateful for her encouragement, her understanding, and her propensity to love. Her efforts as a mother have not been easy, but they also have not gone unnoticed. She, like so many women, have needs that must be met. So today I encourage you to go above and beyond the glitter-glue cards and sheepish hugs. For today, go ahead and give her what she wants. But don’t forget to give her what she needs.

Some Things Never Change

There is no single blueprint for overcoming life changes. Some changes you can expect. Others will totally blindside you. Some changes will bring you good fortune. Others may scourge you. Whether mild or extreme, you cannot avoid the onslaught of change. Change was purposefully written into the design of mortal experience. Without it, mountains cannot be molded, canyons cannot be carved, and souls cannot be shaped.

Yes, change is necessary. How else do we transform from rags to riches? Novice to professional? Unclean to exalted? We all have those desires to ascend to greater things. However, though a fruitful life necessitates change, change does not always facilitate a fruitful life. Riches can turn into rags. Security can become struggle. Redemption can devolve to ruination. The same forces that bring good fortune may also bring hard luck.

Perhaps we often fear change for this very reason. For the most part, human beings do not like playing games of chance, especially when personal comfort or security is on the line. To many of us, this life seems too much like an untidy game of fortuitous gambling. From this perspective, we see that everyone else gets the “get-out-of-jail-free” card. Everyone else gets the perfect roll.  Everyone else gets the ace up their sleeve. An abrupt and disrupting change can easily coax someone down this trail of thought. However, walking that path takes us farther from reality and closer to dissatisfaction.

Change amounts to much more than an unfeeling game of Russian roulette. I believe that change follows a much more purposeful and systematic progression in our lives than we think. Even the most tragic and wretched changes could potentially serve a purpose, provided that we cope with those changes in a way that strengthens our resolve and sharpens our character. Naturally, such changes could just as easily derail our desires for happiness and comfort. However, if we actively observe the bigger picture, then suddenly those changes put our lives and ambitions into a much clearer perspective.

Easier said than done I’m afraid. Big picture perspectives don’t form without a degree of effort or faith. For those suffering with tremendous grief or discomfort, big pictures don’t often matter. Big picture thinking won’t immediately remove the ache of loss, the fear of failure, or the angst of uncertainty. Change naturally triggers these inner struggles in each and every one of us. Despite the struggle, some people expertly navigate life’s shifting waters. In light of some of the recent major changes in our family, I’ve sought to understand how best adjust and respond to change. I don’t expect to gain a perfect understanding at this stage of life. Many events and hardships lay ahead, paving the way for additional understanding. In the meantime, this axiom sustains me: Some things never change.

When you consider how fragile and unstable life can be, you will begin to understand why there is some relief in knowing that some things remain constant and unmovable. There is comfort in knowing that day after day, you can count on some basic important truths. My experience, combined with the examples of others, has shown me that you can indeed survive and prosper in the midst of change. All you need to do is firmly grasp onto the things that don’t change.

Prior to our days of GPS and satellite imagery, sailors and navigators relied on much less sophisticated means of direction and bearings. Oft times, traveling in the right direction was a matter of life or death. Any deviance from the correct course could quickly lead to disaster. When traversing a tempestuous sea or a shifting desert landscape, navigators needed a consistent and reliable source of direction; one untouched by unstable winds or flowing tides. Once unable to use spacious landmarks or rudimentary tools, travelers looked heavenward. There, amidst a revolving dance of speckled lights, they fixed their gaze on a single star. At first glance, this star doesn’t stand apart from the myriad of celestial constellations. But this light possessed a unique quality which set it apart from every other star visible to the human eye. It never changes.

We call this star Polaris, the North Star. While every other star moves in concert throughout the night sky, Polaris appears stationary. Unlike the millions of other visible stars, the North Star is positioned close enough to the line of Earth’s axis projected into space. All other stars appear to move opposite to the Earth’s rotation beneath them. This characteristic made Polaris the single most reliable source of direction for early travelers.

Much like Polaris, there are things that remain constant in our lives. Even in spite of an abrupt or catastrophic change, we too can hold strong to those things that do not change. In the spirit of brevity, I would like to share with you a few of the most basic unalterable truths that I have discovered. These truths have sustained me in turbulent times and uncertain scenarios. I invite you to consider them with an open mind and a humble heart.

1)      Divine Providence Favors Righteousness

Call it karma or call it coincidence; good things happen to good people. Although providential blessings may seem distant or out of reach, I know that they do come to those who live by righteous principles. Some philosophies will have you believe that fortune and acclamation bestow themselves upon a handpicked class. This ideology espouses the concept of discriminate luck or undeserving affluence. I will tell you now that such ideology is founded on myth. Blessings always follow in the wake of decisions that esteem right over wrong, exertion over entitlement, and boldness over apprehensiveness.

I do not deny that some privileges are bestowed by birthright. Some enjoy a birthright of wealth and harmony. Others must fight against crippling poverty and familial discord. However, the differences between these two worlds ends there. The principles of persistence, attitude, and nerve always propel a lowly man towards success. Likewise, the standards of laziness, dishonesty, and perpetual grievance always dupe a privileged man into failure. Luck does not make us. We make our own luck.

2)      Help Is Always Near

Changes breed a number of powerful and debilitating emotions. Perhaps none is more harrowing than despair. Unchecked despair envelopes you in a shroud of melancholic loneliness. It leaves you longing for help, but it never delivers it. Angry and scared, we allow despair to exacerbate our cynicism and intensify our resentment. We become convinced that the road ahead is travelled solo. Despair impairs us in so many ways. But worst of all, total despair prevents us from considering and appreciating the abundant help that surrounds us.

It is foolish to think that ours is the only life that experiences shocking and sudden change. It is even more absurd to think that our struggles cannot be comprehended by others. This form of pride often prevents us from obtaining the help we desperately need when we absolutely need it most.

We are not expected to face change alone and without help. For most of us, we have a network of loyal family and friends that will happily employ their efforts to lift and empower us. To provide aid and support is one of the key eternal purposes of a family unit. Though this may seem unlikely from a narrow individual perspective, I would venture to guess that someone in your circle of siblings, parents, and friends actually understands the changes you are going through. Many of them know what it’s like to endure hardship, change direction, or overcome odds. Even in the rare circumstance where you find yourself distanced from your family or friends; it is in the good nature of most people to try to help where they can.

Open your eyes. Be wise enough to seek for help when you need it. Once you have found it, be humble enough to accept help when it is offered. Keep in mind that charity never fails. No matter where you are, or what circumstances you find yourself in, help is always near.

3)      You Have a Loving Heavenly Father

Above all else, keep this in mind: You have a Heavenly Father who knows you. He Loves you. He understands your struggles and is keenly aware of your heartaches. In that same vein, He also understands your strengths and your capabilities. He wants nothing more than to secure your happiness and ensure your exaltation. Remember that He designed this earthly experience to that end. Life altering changes only serve to accomplish that single goal. Remember that He keeps His promises. Remember that He provided a path forward through His son, Jesus Christ, that we may never have to wander alone in despair. Remember that no influence, neither natural nor synthetic, will alter His plan, renege His promises, nor reduce His love.

Of these three truths, this one holds the greatest significance. If this is true, then His plan provides the means whereby we can achieve happiness no matter our circumstance. If this is true, then He will manifest His love through the charitable actions of family and friends. If this is true, then the necessity of change begins to make more sense.

I know this to be true. I know this in spite of my great weakness and lowliness. In fact, I know of this truth because in part because of my weaknesses. I know that change is difficult. I know that some change is unwelcome and uncomfortable. However, I also know that change creates the circumstances whereby we can grow and progress towards our ultimate potential.

Yes, some things never change. And for that, I am very thankful.

Will You Fuel the Fire?

A flickering light danced on the trees,

Beneath the starry night,

Belonging to a wanderer’s fire,

A warm and comely sight.

Briefly joy returned to him,

Once huddled by the flame,

But frigid sorrow claimed his heart,

He wondered why he came.

The wind was sharp and cut him deep,

His cloth was steeped in mire,

The mind unable now to sleep,

Asked, “Will you fuel the fire?”

Preoccupied with pondering,

The man paid little heed,

He haplessly tossed upon the flame,

A paltry dried up reed.

The deference he once sought,

Beneath celestial skies,

Escaped him now entirely,

Satisfaction plagiarized.

“Something’s off. What is wrong?”

He abruptly self-inquired.

He stoked about haphazardly,

The neglected wispy fire.

Quietly the traveler fussed,

Pretending to be true,

The struggle raged within his soul,

The cause of which he knew.

He ventured oft away from home,

A pilgrimage of awe,

To marvel at the works on high,

And the miracles he saw.

Years had passed the traveler’s life,

And new things he aspired,

His tastes had changed, his feelings too,

His ideals now expired.

Unsettled by the guilty thoughts,

Emerging from his soul,

The wanderer shot back viciously,

“My heart is pure and whole!”

The cry rang hollow from his lips,

His brow had furrowed tight,

He could not shake the burden,

Though he tried with all his might.

Heartache seized him suddenly,

Midst thorned bush and briar,

Once again his mind implored,

“Will you fuel the fire?”

Determined now to sleep,

The man grew tired of the fight,

He would settle all his thoughts,

Then he’d turn in for the night.

He schemed of greater things,

Deeds both epic and heroic,

He’d concentrate his efforts,

Something grand, something stoic.

That would fix the problems,

Place him firm on the right track,

Through his talents and his prowess,

He would then get his life back.

His feelings only countered,

What he imagined in his head,

Not a feeling of encouragement,

Just emptiness instead.

Hopeless, hurt, and angry,

The traveler raised his eyes,

Screaming towards the heavens,

Cold silence filled with cries.

Unwilling to be beaten,

His rage grew even higher,

Furiously he kicked up dirt,

Upon the fledgling fire.

The coldness from within his heart,

Now touched his icy skin,

That fire sustaining through the night,

Crackled toward a feeble end.

The darkness that consumed his mind,

Would soon afflict his sight,

The demons of regret and fear

Unfeeling of his plight.

“I mustn’t let the light go out,

I’ll need that hallowed pyre.”

Responding to the threat he said,

“I have to fuel the fire!”

He rummaged round the forest floor,

Gathering kindle, branch, and log,

He stoked and stirred the failing coals,

While petitioning his God.

A flame took hold of one dried branch,

Then suddenly another,

He slowly added more and more,

So careful not to smother.

The fledgling flame burned once again,

Though smaller than desired,

A voice rang sharply in his mind,

“Will you fuel the fire?”

With the crisis now averted,

The wanderer then wept,

The memory of his failures,

Wrought both heartache and regret.

His own faith had been weakened,

Convictions were not kept,

His sins, his pride, his selfishness,

Nearly rendered him inept.

The struggle broke and humbled him,

Atonement his desire,

That voice still clear, but softer now

“Will you fuel the fire?”

His heart felt heavy, his eyes were wet,

But now he felt inspired,

He could see clearer than before,

Though not due to the fire.

The question finally reached him,

His understanding full,

The fire the voice had referenced,

Was much more personal.

The campfire surely dwindled,

But its warmth was not required,

T’was the flame of faith which suffered,

And it nearly had retired.

His faith was near extinguished,

The many choices he had made,

Had been suffocating slowly,

The bright flashes of faith’s flame.

Had his choices been the wiser,

Had he chosen what was right,

Joy would not have left him,

If he kept faith burning bright.

But faith can be rekindled,

Such things he now desired,

With sincere declaration,

He said “I’ll fuel the fire!”

What Free Will Cost You

FREE! The ultimate attention grabber. After hundreds of years of sales research and experience, we have freebie marketing, freemiums, and free samples. Buy one, get one free. Free personal consultations. Free meal cards. Even free refills. But wait! There’s more! If you keep reading now, I’ll throw in even more unsolicited opinions absolutely free of charge!

All of this only proves what we already know: WE LOVE FREE STUFF!

Our infatuation with gratuities has reached an all-time high. Our pursuit of freebies guides our decision making in ways we hardly even notice. Someone flashes the promise of free-this or free-that, and we easily abandon rational thought and logic. Even freebies detrimental to our own health and wellbeing don’t deter us! Don’t believe me? Here’s some food for thought. Fresh of the run of a national bout of tainted meals and food poisoning, Chipotle Mexican Grill started a new campaign to win customers back. Their strategy was simple. “Text us the word ‘raincheck’ to 888-222 and get a free burrito.”

This food literally caused severe illness only a few weeks before, ruining the company’s image and disenfranchising their clientele.

“How stupid do they think we are?!” I jested with a contemptuous snort.

Shortly thereafter, I hit the send key on my phone and here I am still waiting for my free burrito voucher to be texted right back to me. Touché Chipotle… Touché.

We obsess over free stuff. Now that obsession is starting to make waves in the public arena. So many people cry for free-tuition, interest free loans, free health care, free birth control, free internet, free cell phones... we seem to conjure up new entitlements and demands on a near-daily basis. Politicians are now the new masters of the freebie marketing strategy, and they execute that strategy with unmatched vigor. Much like the merchant vendor, the politician will promise some, then promise more, and finally promise it all. And as I made mention above, we all love the promise of free stuff, even if the promises fly in the face of logic and reality.

This might sound crazy, but I still hold to the radical belief that words happen to mean something. My fervent fascination with definitions often prompts marital eye rolls and incites terrible date banter. Putting that aside, I highly recommend  picking up a dictionary once in a while and really processing what certain words mean. Knowing actual definitions might be uncomfortable for some, but having control over one’s language goes a long way towards being intellectually honest and sociable. But I digress…

Now honestly consider what “free” means. To be more specific, consider the adverbial interpretation of the word. Whether you imagine a free burrito or a free education, “free” implies that the burrito or education comes without cost or payment. That’s right! Zilch! Zip! Nada! Nothing! No wonder we get so excited. Getting free stuff is like fine wizardry. We witness something of substance appear from the nether dimension where fees, fares, and bills simply do not exist. To top that all off, even watching the magic show is free! Burrito and a show? What’s not to love?

But alas, the magic disappears behind the starry curtain and flashy smoke. Reality rears its ugly scary head. The wonder and awe have given way to disappointment and perspective. All at once, you begin to feel the sharp truths established by years of proven economic theory and statistical data: Nothing is truly free…

“Wait a minute!” You protest, “You mean to tell me that magic doesn’t exist!”

Yes. Yes I do.

All things come at a cost. What is free for one always comes at the expense of another. Someone has to pay the price. Someone has to pay for the tortilla, the meat, the cheese, and the rice. Someone needs to cover the wages for teachers, the costs for textbooks, and the fees for building maintenance. Now look beyond the monetary realm and you begin to recognize the cost of other resources. Each of these costs time. They cost talent. They cost effort. Add upon that even more monetary costs to compensate laborers for the time, talent, and effort that they put into it. In economic reality, all goods and services are only provided from the expenditures and forfeitures of someone else’s resources. Once this is understood, then the argument can begin to change.

“Okay sure, someone has to pay for it. Those nasty rich affluent types can shoulder the burden of extreme taxation and wealth confiscation. However, the entitlements and benefits are entirely free to those who consume them!”

If only that were true.

Remember that cost are not solely limited dollars and cents. Consider the resources you give up to obtain the freebie. Consider the resources I put into obtaining my free burrito. My time and emotion were spent reading the news and media. My phone data and battery were spent replying to the promotion. My energy and effort was spent reassuring myself that E. coli wasn’t in my future. I had to spend some of my resources in order to get the freebie. Granted, my use of resources was miniscule by comparison. However, you cannot argue that I made no expenditure of resources. You cannot argue that the burrito was truly free.

I joke about the burrito, but the principles apply with all “freebies”. On the burrito scale, what you give up may not amount to much of anything. But what about the larger “freebies”? The social experiment “freebies”? Look beyond the monetary and fiscal economic impacts of entitlements. What resources will you have to sacrifice? What freedoms will you have to renounce?

Of all the resources we have, I fear that freedom is the one resource we are most eager to offer in exchange for the freebie. This is not because we despise personal freedoms. Rather, it is because our emotional and ideological aspirations get the best of us when the prospect of “free” dangles in front of our face. The misuse and misinterpretation of the concept of “free” unintentionally creates an atmosphere wherein the freedoms of the makers, AND the takers, will be trampled.

Consider the freedom of choice that so many of us consider sacrosanct. What impact would exorbitant entitlements have on your choice of school? Your choice of healthcare? Even your choice of lifestyle? In a world where freebies maintain the masses, what you are given is ultimately what you will get.

Imagine an average trip to the local Costco. Along the aisles you pass one booth after another, each offering a small morsel or sample from a promoted product. A belligerent consumer pulls from the freezer a selection of premium snacks, removes a handful of appetizers, and demands that the booth chef grill up the batch of food. How does the employee respond? She calls security to come drag the loon out of the store! Why? Because you don’t get to choose which free food gets cooked, and you certainly don’t get to choose copious amounts of free premium food to sample. In short, your choices are at the complete mercy of Costco.

In the world of freebies, what you see is what you get. You don’t get to negotiate quality or quantity. You will take what the giver offers or you are out of luck. Think about the implications of this concept if applied to education or healthcare. The proposed giver, in these cases the government, dictates the standard and limits the choice. You get what they offer, nothing more.

“What’s so bad about that? So long as everyone gets taken care of, why should it matter if there are no choices?”

This may seem like sound reasoning, as long as your wading ankle deep in the shallow pool of thinking. Though it may be uncomfortable, lets wade a little deeper into the waters of logic. Think about what this question implies and maybe ask some further questions:

Do you really like the idea of one-size-fits all education or health care?

How are the finite resources distributed?

What criteria is used to find the most deserving students or patients?

Who gets turned away when resources are depleted?

Who decides what is fair?

Who is the giver?

Are you comfortable being at the giver's mercy?

“No hold on a minute! This is nonsense! Of course you can still make choices for yourself!”

Certainly! You can choose premium care, premium food, and premium services… for a price. But if you are going to use that argument, you simply end up right back where the original problem started. The Have’s have and the Have-Not’s do not have. The only next intellectually honest step is to condemn everyone to a whole new class of Barely-Have’s. Image all the choices and options we will have then!

In addition to the freedom to choose, a freebie society would all but eliminate your freedom to earn. Contrary to the misguided beliefs of many, earning is not evil. Earning is not selfish. Earning is simply the process by which hard work, talent, and intelligence create benefit for the individual. If you can accept this as truth, then you must also accept that some will simply earn more in their lifetime. Some people work harder. Some people are more talented. Some people are more intelligent. Different levels of contribution ensure that there will always be different levels of earning. No handout or entitlement will change that.

The free-stuff model, as interpreted by the world, requires that a man do little, or even nothing. It is argued that by virtue of his mere existence does man deserve equal footing in regards to wealth and prosperity. Effort and merit be damned. Earnings should be confiscated and then redistributed in order to satisfy justice and improve living. However, depriving a man of his earnings also deprives him of his will, his drive, and his purpose. Just another unintended and unsettling consequence of a freebie society.

For some reason, we seem eager to vilify the earners and makers of society. There is a genuine resentment for all things affluent and wealthy. No consideration is made as to how the wealth was accrued. No thought goes into the blood, the sweat, and the effort exerted to obtain that level of living. Further ignorance overlooks the earner’s impact on employment, charity, donation, progress, and investment. Taker’s do not provide jobs. Takers do no donate funds to construct hospitals or schools. Taker’s do not risk personal wealth to invest in progress. These roles are filled by the makers. They are filled by the earners.

A man ought be recognized for his achievement and contribution. He ought to freely earn respect, accolades, and dare I say it… money. If something is honestly earned through legitimate merit, who are we to put a cap or limit on their achievement? Let the industrious earn wealth, praise, and distinction. Conversely, man ought to be recognized for his lack of achievement and contribution. Let the lazy and the greedy earn disdain, scorn, and criticism. Let mankind be free to exercise their freedom do earn. When given the chance, I feel that more good will be earned than bad.

Howard W. Hunter understood this concept of the freedom-sucking freebie. In a time when the ideologies of communism and capitalism clashed, he offered the following words in a address titled "The Law of the Harvest":

"The government will take from the 'haves' and give to the 'have nots.' Both have lost their freedom. Those who 'have', lost their freedom to give voluntarily of their own free will and in the way they desire. Those who 'have not', lost their freedom because they did not earn what they received. They got 'something for nothing', and they will neither appreciate the gift nor the giver of the gift."

I know there are problems in the world. I know that there are good people suffering in poor conditions. I know there are also bad people prospering in unjust conditions. I won’t pretend that such isn’t the case. However, fixing the problems with freebies is simply not the answer. Often the cost of free stuff is too high.

Struggling people don’t need another hand-out. More than anything, they need a hand-up. Who better to offer that hand-up than those who are on a higher economic plane? If you find yourself mired in economic struggle, don’t fight to tear down those who are in the best position to lift you up. If you find yourself in prosperous circumstances, don’t hesitate to contribute a free hand to help those around you.

Everyone loves free stuff, or at least the concept of free stuff. But not everyone understands the hidden costs of freebies. Keep that in mind the next time a politician campaigns on free-this and free-that. I could go on with a flurry of postulations and opinions, but I have a free burrito waiting for me downtown.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Much of my writing follows the theme of family. Indeed my whole purpose for creating this blog was to provide my children with a firsthand account of their dad’s thoughts and memories. As I have hinted in the past, nothing means more to me than my family. My testimony of family importance relies heavily on the formative examples and experiences from my youth. That testimony continues to grow through adulthood alongside my wife and kids. I believe that family serves an eternal and spiritual purpose. This belief is founded on a special document. For those who wish to know more about my views on family life and purpose, I invite you to read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. I find its message notably applicable to our era.

The eternal function and purpose of family is eternal. However, there are some misguided constituencies that work hard to transform or entirely terminate the divinely ordained institution. These crusades follow the banners of “EQUALITY”, “DIVERSITY”, and “TOLERANCE”. However, such crusades frequently and radically miss their intended mark. The world eagerly pursues moral equivalence. Instead, it unintentionally achieves moral ambivalence. Tragically, such movements always produce more victims than victors.

It is easy to concentrate on the foretold calamities and devastations that emerge from the family dissolution. It is even easier to grumble about societal shortcomings. However, if our response to societal adversity is limited to puffing and pouting, then we giving up integrity and courage in favor of lazy finger-pointing.

If you pay close attention to the Proclamation, you will notice that only meager portion gives explicit attention to the calamitous consequences of failure in the home. In contrast, the remaining text focuses on our sacred duties and responsibilities within our own sphere of influence. This is what makes this sacred document so incredible. Although the Proclamation boldly addresses a grandiose world audience, it also earnestly calls out to individuals and families with no worldly significance. It is a proclamation to both the great and spacious, and the small and simple. The Lord intended it as such because His great works are brought to pass through small and simple things. The power to preserve your family does not reside in legislative chambers nor judicial halls. Rather, it is found in small and simple teachings, traditions, and truths.

This does not mean that we withdraw from public forum and debate. I do not advocate shrinking in the face of criticism. However, I am suggesting that we prioritize our efforts to defend and maintain the Lord’s model for families.

There is no need to overburden ourselves with society’s emerging and evolving definitions. In truth, the definitions of man simply do not matter. Every attempt to refashion, redefine, or remodel the familial unit amounts to nothing more than a feeble kick against the pricks. Kick as they might, these facts still hold true:

Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God

Family is central to the Creator’s plan

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness

The sanctity of life is important in God’s eternal plan

These simple, yet profound truths will not bend nor adapt to the contortions and machinations of faulty mortal philosophy. Therefore, we can feel at peace even in the face of a taunting, shouting, and contentious society. We should note that the influences outside of the family are far less potent than the influences within the family.

Do you remember the last time you roamed past a rickety house? Conjure in your mind an image of a home with scattered shingles, rotted trim, and weathered windows. Think for a moment what forces might have caused damage to the house. You might imagine extreme weather such as heavy rain, scorching heat, or severe wind. Or you might simply blame the passage of time and the inevitable effects of age. While these external forces certainly contribute to a building’s defects, they ultimately do not condemn a structure to decay and destruction. History proves that the problem originates from within.

The forces of time, nature, and gravity cannot be avoided. Their influence exerts itself without prejudice and without discrimination. Yet despite their constant presence, many buildings endure the pressure for decades, centuries, and even millennia. In contrast, many buildings only last a few years, days, or even mere months. Why such a stark difference? Each one endures the same rain, the same wind, and the same sun. The root problem is something far more internal. The answer? Poor design, poor materials, and poor craftsmanship.

The best designers and builders understand this principle better than anyone. Rather than curse the forces far beyond their control, they dedicate their time, talents, and resources to constructing something of extreme quality. Such professionals habitually emphasize stability, reliability, and responsibility. They know that if such standards can be met, then no external force will have sufficient power to undermine the building’s integrity.

In a similar fashion, our sights should not be solely set upon external pressures. We know they are there and we know that they will always be there. But we simply cannot avoid the forces of animosity and adversity. Nevertheless, we can concentrate on building and maintaining our quality family unit. If that unit is built to the Lord’s celestial standards, then our families will stand the test of time and all eternity.

If our Heavenly Father is the great architect of the family, then The Family: A Proclamation to the World is His blueprint. His plan specifies that we observe the standards and principles requisite for celestial families. Chief among these principles are knowledge, duty, and charity. I invite you to explore with me how these three principles help us fulfill our sacred familial duties.

1) Knowledge

Knowledge of who we are, why we are here, and where we will go lays the solid foundation for family structure. The opening declarations of the Proclamation to the World allude to this fact:

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny…

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life…

Our testimony of our divine heritage and potential affirms that we are already part of a celestial family, with a Father who loves and presides over all of us. He is aware of our concerns, our aspirations, and our weaknesses. Our knowledge of our Heavenly Father and His plan of salvation explains the institution of the earthly family and legitimizes its sacred role. Such foundational testimony provides the necessary bedrock upon which a solid family structure can thrive.

Our knowledge and testimony of these truths should be maintained and supplemented through study and prayer. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on the doctrines found within scripture. From scripture we obtain the teachings of Jesus Christ – namely faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome living. These teachings cannot be consistently practiced unless they are consistently reviewed at home.

2) Duty

Another recurring theme within the proclamation is duty.  Words or phrases related to duty, commandment, obligation, responsibility, and covenant stand out in the text an impressive seventeen times. Clearly the Lord is attempting to communicate with us the importance of duty. Such examples include:

…Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.

…Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness…and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens…

This sense of familial duty binds us to our families in a way that no legal document or legislation can. Take some time to think of the special duties you have in your family. What are your duties as a son? A daughter? Father? Mother? Husband? Wife? Sibling? How strong is that sense of duty? Now imagine what this life might be like if familial duty and responsibility were given adequate reverence. What societal ailments might be cured? Addiction? Poverty? Abuse? Neglect? Hate? Such is the power of duty.

The proclamation pointedly reminds parents that their obedience and responsibility is paramount to a healthy family. Whether you are parenting toddlers, teens, or grown-ups, the principle of duty will always apply.

3) Charity

If knowledge discloses who we are and duty dictates what we must do, then charity determines how we must act. The proclamation challenges us to:

…Love and care for each other and for [our] children.

…Rear [our] children in love and righteousness…

…Teach them to love and serve one another…

…Help one another as equal partners…

This is plain language that leaves no room for variation or rationalization. There is no adequate substitute for love and respect within the home. When present, love diffuses both public and private hostilities. John Hugh McNaughton emphasized this when he wrote:

In the Cottage there is joy

When there’s love at home;

Hate and envy ne’er annoy

When there’s love at home.

Roses bloom beneath our feet;

All the earth’s a garden sweet,

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

This type of love and charity should also extend beyond the confines of the home. Children should see a parent’s example of respect and kindness towards others. This means following the Savior’s example to “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” When children see this type of charity exercised on a consistent basis, peace will begin to exist at home and in the community

            It is my belief that harmony in the home is the essential ingredient to a happy and healthy society. My experiences, both from within my own family and from the examples of others, demonstrate that knowledge, duty, and charity create the peaceful and predictable atmosphere wherein children can reach their true potential. Rather than work yourself into a frenzy of fear and hysteria, I urge you to focus your efforts on maintaining a family frame that will endure any persecution.