There is no single blueprint for overcoming life changes.
Some changes you can expect. Others will totally blindside you. Some changes
will bring you good fortune. Others may scourge you. Whether mild or extreme,
you cannot avoid the onslaught of change. Change was purposefully written into
the design of mortal experience. Without it, mountains cannot be molded,
canyons cannot be carved, and souls cannot be shaped.
Yes, change is necessary. How else do we transform from rags
to riches? Novice to professional? Unclean to exalted? We all have those
desires to ascend to greater things. However, though a fruitful life
necessitates change, change does not always facilitate a fruitful life. Riches
can turn into rags. Security can become struggle. Redemption can devolve to
ruination. The same forces that bring good fortune may also bring hard luck.
Perhaps we often fear change for this very reason. For the
most part, human beings do not like playing games of chance, especially when personal
comfort or security is on the line. To many of us, this life seems too much
like an untidy game of fortuitous gambling. From this perspective, we see that
everyone else gets the “get-out-of-jail-free” card. Everyone else gets the
perfect roll. Everyone else gets the ace
up their sleeve. An abrupt and disrupting change can easily coax someone down
this trail of thought. However, walking that path takes us farther from reality
and closer to dissatisfaction.
Change amounts to much more than an unfeeling game of
Russian roulette. I believe that change follows a much more purposeful and
systematic progression in our lives than we think. Even the most tragic and
wretched changes could potentially serve a purpose, provided that we cope with
those changes in a way that strengthens our resolve and sharpens our character.
Naturally, such changes could just as easily derail our desires for happiness
and comfort. However, if we actively observe the bigger picture, then suddenly
those changes put our lives and ambitions into a much clearer perspective.
Easier said than done I’m afraid. Big picture perspectives
don’t form without a degree of effort or faith. For those suffering with
tremendous grief or discomfort, big pictures don’t often matter. Big picture
thinking won’t immediately remove the ache of loss, the fear of failure, or the
angst of uncertainty. Change naturally triggers these inner struggles in each
and every one of us. Despite the struggle, some people expertly navigate life’s
shifting waters. In light of some of the recent major changes in our family,
I’ve sought to understand how best adjust and respond to change. I don’t expect
to gain a perfect understanding at this stage of life. Many events and
hardships lay ahead, paving the way for additional understanding. In the
meantime, this axiom sustains me: Some things never change.
When you consider how fragile and unstable life can be, you
will begin to understand why there is some relief in knowing that some things
remain constant and unmovable. There is comfort in knowing that day after day,
you can count on some basic important truths. My experience, combined with the
examples of others, has shown me that you can indeed survive and prosper in the
midst of change. All you need to do is firmly grasp onto the things that don’t change.
Prior to our days of GPS and satellite imagery, sailors and
navigators relied on much less sophisticated means of direction and bearings. Oft
times, traveling in the right direction was a matter of life or death. Any
deviance from the correct course could quickly lead to disaster. When traversing
a tempestuous sea or a shifting desert landscape, navigators needed a
consistent and reliable source of direction; one untouched by unstable winds or
flowing tides. Once unable to use spacious landmarks or rudimentary tools, travelers
looked heavenward. There, amidst a revolving dance of speckled lights, they
fixed their gaze on a single star. At first glance, this star doesn’t stand
apart from the myriad of celestial constellations. But this light possessed a
unique quality which set it apart from every other star visible to the human
eye. It never changes.
We call this star Polaris, the North Star. While every other
star moves in concert throughout the night sky, Polaris appears stationary.
Unlike the millions of other visible stars, the North Star is positioned close
enough to the line of Earth’s axis projected into space. All other stars appear
to move opposite to the Earth’s rotation beneath them. This characteristic made
Polaris the single most reliable source of direction for early travelers.
Much like Polaris, there are things that remain constant in
our lives. Even in spite of an abrupt or catastrophic change, we too can hold
strong to those things that do not change. In the spirit of brevity, I would
like to share with you a few of the most basic unalterable truths that I have
discovered. These truths have sustained me in turbulent times and uncertain
scenarios. I invite you to consider them with an open mind and a humble heart.
1)
Divine Providence Favors Righteousness
Call it karma or call it coincidence; good things happen to
good people. Although providential blessings may seem distant or out of reach,
I know that they do come to those who live by righteous principles. Some
philosophies will have you believe that fortune and acclamation bestow
themselves upon a handpicked class. This ideology espouses the concept of
discriminate luck or undeserving affluence. I will tell you now that such ideology
is founded on myth. Blessings always follow in the wake of decisions that
esteem right over wrong, exertion over entitlement, and boldness over
apprehensiveness.
I do not deny that some privileges are bestowed by
birthright. Some enjoy a birthright of wealth and harmony. Others must fight
against crippling poverty and familial discord. However, the differences
between these two worlds ends there. The principles of persistence, attitude,
and nerve always propel a lowly man towards success. Likewise, the standards of
laziness, dishonesty, and perpetual grievance always dupe a privileged man into
failure. Luck does not make us. We make our own luck.
2)
Help Is Always Near
Changes breed a number of powerful and debilitating
emotions. Perhaps none is more harrowing than despair. Unchecked despair
envelopes you in a shroud of melancholic loneliness. It leaves you longing for
help, but it never delivers it. Angry and scared, we allow despair to
exacerbate our cynicism and intensify our resentment. We become convinced that
the road ahead is travelled solo. Despair impairs us in so many ways. But worst
of all, total despair prevents us from considering and appreciating the abundant
help that surrounds us.
It is foolish to think that ours is the only life that
experiences shocking and sudden change. It is even more absurd to think that our
struggles cannot be comprehended by others. This form of pride often prevents
us from obtaining the help we desperately need when we absolutely need it most.
We are not expected to face change alone and without help.
For most of us, we have a network of loyal family and friends that will happily
employ their efforts to lift and empower us. To provide aid and support is one
of the key eternal purposes of a family unit. Though this may seem unlikely from
a narrow individual perspective, I would venture to guess that someone in your
circle of siblings, parents, and friends actually understands the changes you
are going through. Many of them know what it’s like to endure hardship, change
direction, or overcome odds. Even in the rare circumstance where you find
yourself distanced from your family or friends; it is in the good nature of
most people to try to help where they can.
Open your eyes. Be wise enough to seek for help when you
need it. Once you have found it, be humble enough to accept help when it is
offered. Keep in mind that charity never fails. No matter where you are, or
what circumstances you find yourself in, help is always near.
3)
You Have a Loving Heavenly Father
Above all else, keep
this in mind: You have a Heavenly Father who knows you. He Loves you. He
understands your struggles and is keenly aware of your heartaches. In that same
vein, He also understands your strengths and your capabilities. He wants
nothing more than to secure your happiness and ensure your exaltation. Remember
that He designed this earthly experience to that end. Life altering changes
only serve to accomplish that single goal. Remember that He keeps His promises.
Remember that He provided a path forward through His son, Jesus Christ, that we
may never have to wander alone in despair. Remember that no influence, neither
natural nor synthetic, will alter His plan, renege His promises, nor reduce His
love.
Of these three truths, this one holds the greatest
significance. If this is true, then His plan provides the means whereby we can
achieve happiness no matter our circumstance. If this is true, then He will
manifest His love through the charitable actions of family and friends. If this
is true, then the necessity of change begins to make more sense.
I know this to be true. I know this in spite of my great
weakness and lowliness. In fact, I know of this truth because in part because
of my weaknesses. I know that change is difficult. I know that some change is
unwelcome and uncomfortable. However, I also know that change creates the
circumstances whereby we can grow and progress towards our ultimate potential.
Yes, some things never change. And for that, I am very
thankful.
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