It looked like our chances of eating at our favorite restaurant
were increasingly slimming. We hurriedly shuffled towards the crowded doors of
the Cheesecake Factory, our frustration and disappointment growing with each
step. So far our plans for celebrating our 3rd anniversary had hit a
number of problems. We had already started later than expected and fought
through miles of bumper-to-bumper traffic just to reach our destination.
Parking only added to our anxiety due to the holiday rush. As we approached the
restaurant entrance, nearby rumors of a 2 hour wait confirmed our fears. Our
perfectly planned evening would not be as perfect as anticipated.
In dejected fashion, we began to weigh our options. Waiting
for the two hours was out of the question. Not only would that ruin our other
plans of touring the church grounds where we got married, but there was no chance that Oliver’s cherubic-like demeanor would have
lasted the night.
So there we sat, just outside the throng of people waiting
for their tables. Coveting got the best of us as we struggled to change our
plans. Images of cheesecake, chicken Bellagio, and avocado eggrolls danced in
our heads, making any sort of decision making nearly impossible. The ensuing
conversation is one that should never occur on anniversaries:
“Where do you want to eat?”
“I don’t care, where do you want to eat?”
“You do care. Just pick a place.”
“No I don’t. I am fine with whatever.”
“(Sigh) How about Kneaders?”
“Oh not Kneaders.”
“I thought you were fine with whatever?”
“I am, just not Kneaders.”
“(Sigh)”
Running out of both time and options, we had to figure out
something. It seemed we would have to settle for a "romantic" dinner at the
nearby crowded food court. It was less than ideal, but dinner is dinner.
Accepting our fate, we began to load up our stroller to make the disgruntled
journey to the food court.
Just as we turned to head away from the restaurant, a man
politely approached us and asked if we were waiting in line. Expecting him to
ask what the wait time was for a table, I informed him that a table would
require him to wait 2 hours.
“I know,” he kindly replied. “We reserved a table and have
been waiting here.”
He nodded to his own small family in the distance, acknowledging their presence. He eagerly looked again at our puzzled faces. He then took out a small receipt with his name on it. Without hesitation he extended his arm, offering me the small slip of paper.
“Our plans have changed, and you look like you could use a
table,” he explained. “Go ahead and take our reservation. They should be
seating you in about five minutes. Just tell them you are Tyler.”
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| Visiting the Salt Lake Temple on our 3rd anniversary |
With equal parts astonishment and excitement, I gratefully
took the reservation. He vanished as quickly as he appeared and left us to
claim the reservation. Our feelings of excitement for a favorite meal quickly
replaced our feelings of resentment. But more significant was the feeling of
good-will that Mr. Tyler had towards a perfect stranger. Instead of simply
discarding his reservation and making a quick getaway, it was apparent that he
had waited for an opportunity to uplift and benefit someone else. It was a
beautiful gesture of Christmas spirit. A perfect illustration of “peace on
earth, good-will to men.”
I thank Mr. Tyler for not only a good meal, but a great
example as well. This is such a beautiful time of year. While I am no fan of
winter months, there is no doubt in my mind that these closing days are the
best days of the year. I have struggled recently wondering what I may write to
you about this holiday season. I wanted to be able to express my deep feelings
about this time of year without cliché or cookie cutter language. This time of
year deserves more than that. Considering the year we have had and the struggles
that we all face, I feel it wholly appropriate the focus on the message of good-will to men.
This is not an effort to avert our attention from “peace on
earth”. That is a noble and worthy goal. I just happen to think that these two
are often quoted out of order. You see, without good-will to men, there is no
peace on earth. While one may not exist without the other, you must understand
that peace is the consequence of good-will. Due to this belief, I conclude that
the gross lack of peace on earth is due to a general lack of good-will towards
one another. So for a moment, let’s forget about peace on earth. It will come
naturally in its own time, provided we first master “good-will to men.”
Good-will is a widely inclusive concept. Breaking it down in
parts might help us better understand its purpose. Will is synonymous with
words such as attitude, desire, intention, resolve, appetite, or yearning. It
is something we all possess and a power that we exert upon our environment every
day. It is your will that drives you to live, learn, love, and do everything
else that you do. It is a power we choose to exercise for good or evil. Boiled
down to its simplest form, I think that will is the power to influence. This
summation seems most fitting since ours is the greatest influence that affects
our attitudes, desires, intentions, and appetites.
What does good-will look like? We might not physically see a
persons will, but we do see its influence externally. Good-will is manifested
in actions of respect, sympathy, friendship, encouragement, and understanding.
Many people seem to think that they exemplify good-will toward men by the
giving of gifts. This is a kind gesture, but there are more influential ways of
exerting good will to men. Perhaps we should consider combining our gifts with
an increase of courtesy, respect, honesty, love, or appreciation towards the
recipient. Gift cards will expire, clothes will fade, and entertainment will
become dull, but good-will lasts longer and offers more than tangible gifts.
All men and women are in need of some sort of help. That
helps comes in many forms and is not limited to temporal needs like food, shelter,
or finances. Sometimes the people that are in need of good will are the ones
least expected to need it. I would argue that everyone is in need of some good-will at different times in their life. It is up to us to keep our eyes and
hearts open. Pay attention to others. Look close enough you will see a need
that can be met.
Being a person of good-will requires some effort, but
good-will doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are some things that have come
to my mind when I have thought of the concept of good-will:
- Giving credit where credit is due
- Sincere compliments
- Going the extra mile
- Practicing restraint
- Edifying and encouraging words
- Avoid criticizing for the sake of criticizing
- Admitting mistakes
- Standing up for others
- Offering someone the benefit of a doubt
- Being respectful
I have grown to appreciate the hymn, “I Heard the Bells on
Christmas Day”. I have read the poem that inspired the hymn several times this
holiday season. The defining lyrics of this poem are repeated at the end of
every stanza: “…peace on earth, good-will to men.” The words take on deeper
meaning once you understand the history behind the poem.
The poem was written Christmas day 1863 by American poet,
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. At the time, America was in the middle of its
deadliest conflict as Union and Confederate armies fought a vicious civil war.
Families were torn apart; brothers killing brothers and friends killing friends.
In Longfellow’s own words:
It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth,
good-will to men.
Every American family was afflicted with grief and fear.
Longfellow himself was in state of heart ache and sorrow. He had recently lost
his wife in a fire and his oldest son, who had joined the Union army against
his wishes, was horrifically wounded in battle. The shadow of war had impacted
him intimately. Christmas, a traditionally joyful day and celebration, was a
now a harrowing and distressful day for many families. Longfellow’s words
echoed the sorrow and grief felt by all American families:
And in despair I bowed my head;
“There is no peace on earth,” I said;
“For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth,
good-will to men!”
The sentiment
expressed in those words lasts to this day. The American Civil War ended long
ago, but it was sadly followed by other wars that have decimated families and
destroyed communities. Families are still experiencing loss and heart ache due
to the lack of good-will and love. The loss is senseless and unexplainable. On
a smaller scale, other families fight their own wars against poverty, tyranny,
illness, and any number of other enemies. Struggle and despair are not foreign
to any living soul.
But in response to all that is wrong with the world, the
actions of good-will and love ring that much louder. This is especially true of
the Christmas season. Even the most anguished and miserable can find hope.
Hearts can be healed. Relationships can be mended. The downtrodden can be
uplifted. Longfellow symbolizes this optimism with these words:
Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth,
good-will to men.”
These words ring true for me. It is my testimony and
experience that good prevails. It does so through the good-will of others; individuals like you and I. We can make the difference, so long as our attitudes,
desires, and actions are focused on the betterment of mankind. Thankfully, we
can change and become better as individuals. We all can work towards being
decent towards all men. We are graced with that ability due to the divine good-will which we celebrate this time of year.
Ending on that note, I wish you a Merry Christmas!
Peace on earth, good-will to men!
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