Have the Courage to Run

Let’s set the scene here.

A lone gritty hero stands atop a roof in the middle of a storming wind. The air is darkening as a swirling black cloud blurs the sun. Everyone else has frantically retreated, terrified at the oncoming horde of villains; everyone but the steely eyed hero. He stands alone and unafraid. With no regard for his safety, he unnervingly stares down the destruction-determined enemy. The fate of everyone rests upon his bold shoulders. In the face of the increasing pressure, there is only one thing that sustains the hero: His courage.

The story is the same almost everywhere. We are fascinated with the courage exemplified by protagonists in movies, comics and books. We love to see our heroes overcome extreme personal loss and then valiantly confront all-powerful villains. Even from a young age we can acknowledge and appreciate heroic courage. In an attempt to emulate that courage, children will devotedly adorn themselves with masks, helmets, and capes. As you age, your understanding of courage will deepen. Eventually, new heroes will inspire you to confront your daily villains disguised as illness, hardship, heartache, and injustice. I am thankful for inspired authors and creative minds that can portray courage well enough to inspire others to seek it.

Media portrayal of heroism is indicative of the value we place on courage. However, we typically only see one form of courage on television. This is the courage that provokes you to take a stand and face your fears. Every hero has this type of courage. But there is a second type of courage, and it is equally important. In addition to having the courage to stand, the greatest heroes also possess the courage to run.

Doesn't sound very glamorous, does it? In fact, it sounds like cowardice to most people. That is because we are bombarded with images of heroes with the courage to stand. In most minds, running is the antithesis of courage. Running is associated with everything that goes against conventional courage. Runners are cowards who wince, flinch, recoil, and tremble when faced with fear. You need to remember that every villain is different. While many times you will need the courage to stand, some of the most significant battles are won with a more subtle and less charismatic form of courage.

Due to the unglamorous nature of this topic, this is not an easy concept to illustrate. The bottom line is that too many people don’t understand what it means to have the courage to run. However, I think this story illustrates my point well. This is an excerpt from a discourse given during the October 2012 LDS General Conference:

Some years ago, John was accepted at a prestigious Japanese university. He would be part of the international student program with many other top students from around the world. Some enrolled with a hope to deepen their understanding of the culture and language, others viewed it as a stepping-stone to an eventual profession and employment in Japan, but all had left home to study in a foreign country.

Soon after John’s arrival, word of a party to be held on the rooftop of a private residence spread among the foreign student population. That evening, John and two friends made their way to the advertised address.

Following an elevator ride to the top floor of the building, John and his friends navigated the single narrow stairway leading to the rooftop and began mingling with the others. As the night wore on, the atmosphere changed. The noise, music volume, and alcohol amplified, as did John’s uneasiness. Then suddenly someone began organizing the students into a large circle with the intent of sharing marijuana cigarettes. John grimaced and quickly informed his two friends that it was time to leave. Almost in ridicule, one of them replied, “John, this is easy—we’ll just stand in the circle, and when it is our turn, we’ll just pass it along rather than smoke it. That way we won’t have to embarrass ourselves in front of everyone by leaving.” This sounded easy to John, but it did not sound right. He knew he had to announce his intention and act. In a moment he mustered his courage and told them that they could do as they wished, but he was leaving. One friend decided to stay and joined the circle; the other reluctantly followed John down the stairs to board the elevator. Much to their surprise, when the elevator doors opened, Japanese police officers poured out and hurried to ascend the stairs to the rooftop. John and his friend boarded the elevator and departed.

When the police appeared at the top of the stairs, the students quickly threw the illegal drugs off the roof so they wouldn't be caught. After securing the stairway, however, the officers lined up everyone on the roof and asked each student to extend both hands. The officers then walked down the line, carefully smelling each student’s thumbs and index fingers. All who had held the marijuana, whether they had smoked it or not, were presumed guilty, and there were huge consequences. Almost without exception, the students who had remained on the rooftop were expelled from their respective universities, and those convicted of a crime were likely deported from Japan. Dreams of an education, years of preparation, and the possibility of future employment in Japan were dashed in a moment.

Heroes who have the courage to stand are generally praised and applauded. In contrast, heroes with the courage to run face ridicule and embarrassment. Often, that ridicule will originate from the people you thought you could trust, leaving you with feelings of abandonment and solitude. That is why it is so difficult to develop the courage to run. On top of feeling alone, the very people that should be your allies will jeer, criticize, and mock you. Regardless of their reactions, keep going. Don’t look back. While you may feel immense loneliness for a time, your example will eventually inspire others to follow.

Obviously, there are moments where running is a totally inappropriate response when facing your villains. You will have to courageously stand up to bullies and stand up for victims from time to time. You cannot run from problems that demand your attention. However, do not underestimate the wisdom in running as well. It will often be difficult to know if is appropriate to run or stand. But as you practice courage and do what you know is right, it will become easier with each new villain.

 As you confront new villains and enter foreign battlefields, may I suggest a few scenarios where you can apply this advice?

1)      Run from culturally popular crusades that only appeal to emotion and not reason.

It seems that everyone must have a compelling cause to join. People are too often driven to seek a gaudy sense of purpose and desire to bring about change or rectify some wrong. I candidly acknowledge that there are some serious societal problems that plague humanity. Some of them must be addressed too. However, there are some battles that just aren't necessary and even distract from more serious problems that are ignored way too often.

2)      Run from friendships that do not respect your values.

There are millions of decent human beings that are worth befriending. Why waste your time on those that put you down or demonize you? I am not suggesting you befriend people who share all the same opinions, beliefs, and interests as you. On the contrary, you will need friends that can talk you out of some stupid things. However, choose friends that will build you up and hold you to high standards.

3)      Run from situations that will compromise your integrity and principles.

Our natural curiosity motivates us to do some pretty awesome things! A lot of creativity and innovation stem from that curiosity. However, it can lead us to some situations that cause us to push the moral boundaries we set for ourselves. Do not gamble with your integrity or principles for a brief moment of self-gratification or cursory indulgence. Lives can be permanently damaged in seconds, and the consequences can last a life time.

4)      Run from relationships that are abusive in any form.

While there are millions of wonderful people, there sadly exist hundreds of mean spirited and ill-behaved people as well. Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you can save or change somebody. If a person abuses you emotionally or physically, you owe that person nothing. Run from them. There are no courageous qualities for taking the abuse day after day. You deserve to be treated as a valuable human being.

5)      Run from degenerate media.

Technology offers some significant benefits that promise us the highest standards of living. However, it can do immeasurable damage to people who choose not to filter out degenerate and degrading material. Do not bog yourself down in the mire of pornographic filth. Don’t immerse yourself in pointless angry banter that attacks others and shuts down debate. There are a myriad of things to do with technology. You literally have more at your fingertips than any prior generation. Use it for worthwhile things.

I hope you develop the courage to confront your villains when required, and run from them when necessary. Have the courage to stand alone and run alone. Each challenge you face will be new and unique.  But regardless of the enemy or the situation, courage will enable you to overcome any challenge, win any battle, and survive every struggle.  

Capturing the Moment vs. Enjoying the Moment

Through no fault of my own, I have developed one of my dad’s favorite pastimes. It’s not easy for me to admit this since I have often ridiculed him for it. I finally now have to admit it, I am a people watcher. In particular, I tend to watch people during weddings, funerals, sporting events, or other memorable events. I’m not proud of it, and it most likely embarrasses Kara, but I am fascinated at how people behave during a memorable moment.

No matter what the event, I always see a handful of people that always have their phone or camera out to capture the special moment. They eagerly trail wherever the action is, emphatically snapping photos at one instant and vigorously recording video the next. The moment is all too important to ignore, therefore it must be documented religiously. While I do think it is great that people recognize the significance or importance of a moment, they often can rob themselves of a great experience. They choose the capture the moment over enjoying the moment.

What are you missing behind that 2 1/2 inch screen?

Moments are not made of just images or videos. A moment is generated by so many different things in combination with an image. In addition to seeing, what do you feel? What do you hear? What is happening outside the lens? What are you missing outside the narrow optics of your camera? What will you remember after unlocking your phone, selecting the right app, turning off the flash, zooming in, and focusing the lens? After taking all that time to capture the moment, did you leave enough time to experience it?

Please know that I am not an archaic anti-camera crusader. There is no doubt in my mind that documenting special experiences is a worthwhile endeavor. I have been the beneficiary of people who have documented important moments in my life. I would be disingenuous if I didn't admit to looking back at those photos or videos to remember the positive experiences of my lifetime. However, there is value in stepping back from the lens and fully experiencing the moment at hand without a digital filter.

Thankfully, it has never been so easy to capture a moment like it is now. At virtually any time, we can snap a picture, edit it, and send it out to as many people as we like. So you can argue that instead of reducing our ability to enjoy an experience, cameras have actually enhanced those experiences and allowed for us to share them with others. In response to that, I agree 100%! There are many appropriate times to document and share a moment with others, and I am grateful that my friends and family share their moments with me. However, don’t deny yourself of an uplifting experience for the sake of capturing it all on film.

Take a step back. See the bigger picture. Pay attention to your feelings and enjoy the moment altogether. No photo or image will ever create the feelings you would have otherwise experienced had you actually enjoyed the moment.

 By nature, moments are short and fleeting. They are instant, yet stirring. A single moment can have lasting effects on our lives. In fact, a single moment can be the catalyst for enduring change. I think that is why we have become obsessed with preserving moments through photos of videos. Moments mean so much to us.

For these reasons, I encourage you not to miss a moment. If you can capture it without diminishing its value, then by all means you should. Just remember… if you’re too busy trying to capture the moment, you might just miss it entirely.

Mad Dash

Springtime is here! Along with the warmer days and greener sights comes the promise of backyard barbecues and family fun. I contend there are few activities that combine food and fun like a Gulbranson family barbecue. I have been thinking about them constantly over the past few days! No doubt you can add food to any Gulbranson family occasion, and it is likely to become an instant classic. However, what separates a Gulbranson family barbecue from any other food extravaganza are the games played following the food.

Gulbranson backyards have seen many summer games; everything from bocce and football, to horseshoes and baseball. Yet there is one game that has defined Gulbranson barbecues for nearly a decade. It has remained relatively unknown to the outside world, but I feel a strong obligation to ensure it remains relevant to my posterity. Allow me to give you a rare glimpse into the legendary world of Mad Dash.

While Mad Dash is a game for everyone, it heavily favors the nimble and accurate (neither are traits most Gulbransons possess following a vigorous barbecue meal). In its most poetic form, it is the arena wherein you can witness the weak, the strong, and the food-induced comatose be hewed down by an endless barrage of 12-inch-plastic-frisbee majesty. To the victors go all the honors and accolades a backyard sport can afford, whilst the defeated leave only with grass-stains, welts, and injured pride. Taking the concepts of conventional dodge-ball, and elevating the fear and passion to new heights, Mad Dash is a spectacle you don’t want to miss out on.

The rules are fairly simple. You will likely draw many comparisons to dodge-ball. However, I can assure you that this game is a different monster in its own right. So for the first time ever, I have published the rules and regulations for the game of Mad Dash:

1. Equipment

1.1) The number of Frisbees used in the game often varies, but it is advisable to have 6 to 10 for a game. Standard models for Frisbees are based on President’s Choice ice cream lids and generic Frisbee models. Frisbees are not to exceed 12” in diameter.

Generic Mad Dash Frisbee Model

2. Court

2.1) All Mad Dash games must take place on a grass court, preferably allocated in a yard. Court must be large enough to allow at least 12 people to move comfortably around the lawn. Both sides are evenly divided by a center line.

3. Game Objective

3.1) Eliminate all opposing players by hitting them with Frisbees. Be the last team standing.

4. Rules of the Game

4.1) Prior to starting the game, all Frisbees are distributed evenly along the center line and both teams are required to wait at the back of their respective halves of the court. Upon commencing the game, players will rush towards the center to gain possession of the Frisbees. Upon gaining possession of a Frisbee, you can commence to throw opposing players out from anywhere on your side of the court.

**Strategic Note**: Younger nephews or relatives make excellent Frisbee fodder during the initial frenzy.

Uncle Mike is about to ring the ceremonial chime to start the game. Notice that Uncle Kaelen, Uncle Mike, and myself have strategically positioned ourselves right behind the Frisbee fodder line. Since it was Kara's first game, she also joined our proud Frisbee fodder line (she didn't know better).

4.2) To be considered “out” you must be cleanly hit by a Frisbee, or have an opposing player catch your Frisbee. Head shots are considered viable. Upon being out, you must sit on your team’s bench in order from which you were out. Frisbees caught result in the Frisbee-thrower going out and the Frisbee-catcher reinstating a teammate from the out-bench.  If a Frisbee hits an opposing player but gets caught by one of the hit player's teammates, the thrower is out, a player gets reinstated, and the player who got hit stays in. Consequently, if a Frisbee hits multiple players and the Frisbee hits the ground without being caught, all hit players are considered out.

**Strategic Note**: Avoid excessive trash talking or inciting opposing players while close to the center line. Karma has not been kind to the faces of flamboyant provokers and pesky instagators.

4.3) At any time during the game, a player may cross the center line into the opposing team’s territory to retrieve an unclaimed Frisbee. Upon doing so, the invading player must shout “Mad Dash!” An invading player may not throw or catch an opposing players Frisbee. Any contact with an opposing players Frisbee while on a Mad Dash will result in the invading player being sent to the out-bench.

**Strategic Note**: Younger relatives also make excellent shields if they are light enough to carry when you feel inclined to perform a Mad Dash.

4.4) When a team is down to a single player, that player has two minutes to finish off the rest of the opposing team, or reinstate a teammate on the out bench. Failure to accomplish at least one of these tasks within the aforementioned time limit will result in the implementation of the Open Season rule. Once the time is up, Open Season is declared by the opposing team’s out-bench. This declaration renders all restrictions by the centerline nonexistent, effectively hastening the end of the game.

**Strategic Note**: Seriously, do not underestimate the usefulness of the younger kids. They can become your most effective tools for victory!

I cannot emphasize enough how fun this is!! With the right group of guys (and kids I might add), this became an instant family classic that endures in the minds of Uncles, nephews, and brothers to this day. I look forward to the day you join the ranks of the legendary Dashers in our family. Until that time, keep your head up, feet moving, and don’t hold grudges against your uncles if they shamelessly use your “unique” talents to gain an advantage on the field. Remember… it’s all for the team.