Choices

To what degree does choice influence our lives? I think most of us would agree that choice greatly impacts our personal lives. When typically we talk about choices, we talk about the big stuff. Which school do I choose? Which girl should I choose to date? What career path do I take? Vote Democrat or Republican? Sausage or bacon? I think you get the point.

 I think we sometimes do ourselves a disservice when we think of choice in that sense. Don’t get me wrong, these are essential choices that we must make at some time. I don’t want to diminish their importance. However, choices are so much bigger than choosing the big stuff. In fact, I feel that some of the biggest decisions are made daily, even hourly. Those are the types of decisions that have significant consequences, both positive and negative, that impact us far beyond the moment we make that them.

One of the biggest choices of my life I have to consciously make every single day. And I think that it is a choice that not many people realize we have. You see, I firmly believe that we choose to be happy. Abraham Lincoln pretty much summarized my sentiment when he said that, “most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.” I have found that to be entirely true in my own life.

I think the best example of choosing happiness is revealed in our every day interactions with people. People can be downright mean and malevolent. We all know a few of our own acquaintances that have an innate talent to tear you down. The power people have over others is impressive and sometimes scary. Yet, despite all that “power”, they don’t have any power over how you react. Remember that no one can make you angry. YOU choose to be angry. However, once you make that choice to stay calm, collected, and levelheaded, you have all the power. In contrast, losing control of your emotions and becoming agitated ultimately gives away that power. If you don’t believe me, I invite you to read “Man’s Search For Meaning” by Viktor Frankl.

Many will teach you what their definition of choice is. Be careful about what the world teaches you about choice. No doubt you will hear a great deal of people talk about it. Usually the conversation is saturated with comments like “my life, my choice” or “this does not impact anyone else”. People have been tricked into believing in something known as free choice. Let me tell you now, there is no such thing as free choice. It simply does not exist.

How can we be free to choose if there is no such thing as free choice? Seems like a pretty bold contradiction. Of course we are free to make choices, but no choice is free. Every choice comes at a cost; or in other words, a consequence. Today there is so much focus on choice. We all feel entitled to make our own choices, and indeed we are. Yet with every choice comes a consequence. Agency also breeds accountability. Freedom requires responsibility. Frankl articulated this sentiment very well when he said:

Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue or Responsibility on the West Coast.

Unfortunately, some of the consequences that are the most serious and damaging are the ones that are least explored. Rather, they are suppressed or shouted down in the name of --- you can't make this up --- choice. It is one of modern life’s greatest ironies. This tragic process leaves behind a lot of victims who are left with little or no choice at all. 

So during your life, don't expect the world to always respect your choices. As long as your decisions are based on the the simple fact that there are consequences, then many people in the world will simply not understand them. Choice may be the most single most empowering tool we have. Don’t be quick to give away that power to people who have no interest in your well being or happiness. Treasure that gift, and use it to uplift yourself and others. Be proud of the good choices that you make, then work to fix the bad choices that you make.