Will You Fuel the Fire?

A flickering light danced on the trees,

Beneath the starry night,

Belonging to a wanderer’s fire,

A warm and comely sight.

Briefly joy returned to him,

Once huddled by the flame,

But frigid sorrow claimed his heart,

He wondered why he came.

The wind was sharp and cut him deep,

His cloth was steeped in mire,

The mind unable now to sleep,

Asked, “Will you fuel the fire?”

Preoccupied with pondering,

The man paid little heed,

He haplessly tossed upon the flame,

A paltry dried up reed.

The deference he once sought,

Beneath celestial skies,

Escaped him now entirely,

Satisfaction plagiarized.

“Something’s off. What is wrong?”

He abruptly self-inquired.

He stoked about haphazardly,

The neglected wispy fire.

Quietly the traveler fussed,

Pretending to be true,

The struggle raged within his soul,

The cause of which he knew.

He ventured oft away from home,

A pilgrimage of awe,

To marvel at the works on high,

And the miracles he saw.

Years had passed the traveler’s life,

And new things he aspired,

His tastes had changed, his feelings too,

His ideals now expired.

Unsettled by the guilty thoughts,

Emerging from his soul,

The wanderer shot back viciously,

“My heart is pure and whole!”

The cry rang hollow from his lips,

His brow had furrowed tight,

He could not shake the burden,

Though he tried with all his might.

Heartache seized him suddenly,

Midst thorned bush and briar,

Once again his mind implored,

“Will you fuel the fire?”

Determined now to sleep,

The man grew tired of the fight,

He would settle all his thoughts,

Then he’d turn in for the night.

He schemed of greater things,

Deeds both epic and heroic,

He’d concentrate his efforts,

Something grand, something stoic.

That would fix the problems,

Place him firm on the right track,

Through his talents and his prowess,

He would then get his life back.

His feelings only countered,

What he imagined in his head,

Not a feeling of encouragement,

Just emptiness instead.

Hopeless, hurt, and angry,

The traveler raised his eyes,

Screaming towards the heavens,

Cold silence filled with cries.

Unwilling to be beaten,

His rage grew even higher,

Furiously he kicked up dirt,

Upon the fledgling fire.

The coldness from within his heart,

Now touched his icy skin,

That fire sustaining through the night,

Crackled toward a feeble end.

The darkness that consumed his mind,

Would soon afflict his sight,

The demons of regret and fear

Unfeeling of his plight.

“I mustn’t let the light go out,

I’ll need that hallowed pyre.”

Responding to the threat he said,

“I have to fuel the fire!”

He rummaged round the forest floor,

Gathering kindle, branch, and log,

He stoked and stirred the failing coals,

While petitioning his God.

A flame took hold of one dried branch,

Then suddenly another,

He slowly added more and more,

So careful not to smother.

The fledgling flame burned once again,

Though smaller than desired,

A voice rang sharply in his mind,

“Will you fuel the fire?”

With the crisis now averted,

The wanderer then wept,

The memory of his failures,

Wrought both heartache and regret.

His own faith had been weakened,

Convictions were not kept,

His sins, his pride, his selfishness,

Nearly rendered him inept.

The struggle broke and humbled him,

Atonement his desire,

That voice still clear, but softer now

“Will you fuel the fire?”

His heart felt heavy, his eyes were wet,

But now he felt inspired,

He could see clearer than before,

Though not due to the fire.

The question finally reached him,

His understanding full,

The fire the voice had referenced,

Was much more personal.

The campfire surely dwindled,

But its warmth was not required,

T’was the flame of faith which suffered,

And it nearly had retired.

His faith was near extinguished,

The many choices he had made,

Had been suffocating slowly,

The bright flashes of faith’s flame.

Had his choices been the wiser,

Had he chosen what was right,

Joy would not have left him,

If he kept faith burning bright.

But faith can be rekindled,

Such things he now desired,

With sincere declaration,

He said “I’ll fuel the fire!”

What Free Will Cost You

FREE! The ultimate attention grabber. After hundreds of years of sales research and experience, we have freebie marketing, freemiums, and free samples. Buy one, get one free. Free personal consultations. Free meal cards. Even free refills. But wait! There’s more! If you keep reading now, I’ll throw in even more unsolicited opinions absolutely free of charge!

All of this only proves what we already know: WE LOVE FREE STUFF!

Our infatuation with gratuities has reached an all-time high. Our pursuit of freebies guides our decision making in ways we hardly even notice. Someone flashes the promise of free-this or free-that, and we easily abandon rational thought and logic. Even freebies detrimental to our own health and wellbeing don’t deter us! Don’t believe me? Here’s some food for thought. Fresh of the run of a national bout of tainted meals and food poisoning, Chipotle Mexican Grill started a new campaign to win customers back. Their strategy was simple. “Text us the word ‘raincheck’ to 888-222 and get a free burrito.”

This food literally caused severe illness only a few weeks before, ruining the company’s image and disenfranchising their clientele.

“How stupid do they think we are?!” I jested with a contemptuous snort.

Shortly thereafter, I hit the send key on my phone and here I am still waiting for my free burrito voucher to be texted right back to me. Touché Chipotle… Touché.

We obsess over free stuff. Now that obsession is starting to make waves in the public arena. So many people cry for free-tuition, interest free loans, free health care, free birth control, free internet, free cell phones... we seem to conjure up new entitlements and demands on a near-daily basis. Politicians are now the new masters of the freebie marketing strategy, and they execute that strategy with unmatched vigor. Much like the merchant vendor, the politician will promise some, then promise more, and finally promise it all. And as I made mention above, we all love the promise of free stuff, even if the promises fly in the face of logic and reality.

This might sound crazy, but I still hold to the radical belief that words happen to mean something. My fervent fascination with definitions often prompts marital eye rolls and incites terrible date banter. Putting that aside, I highly recommend  picking up a dictionary once in a while and really processing what certain words mean. Knowing actual definitions might be uncomfortable for some, but having control over one’s language goes a long way towards being intellectually honest and sociable. But I digress…

Now honestly consider what “free” means. To be more specific, consider the adverbial interpretation of the word. Whether you imagine a free burrito or a free education, “free” implies that the burrito or education comes without cost or payment. That’s right! Zilch! Zip! Nada! Nothing! No wonder we get so excited. Getting free stuff is like fine wizardry. We witness something of substance appear from the nether dimension where fees, fares, and bills simply do not exist. To top that all off, even watching the magic show is free! Burrito and a show? What’s not to love?

But alas, the magic disappears behind the starry curtain and flashy smoke. Reality rears its ugly scary head. The wonder and awe have given way to disappointment and perspective. All at once, you begin to feel the sharp truths established by years of proven economic theory and statistical data: Nothing is truly free…

“Wait a minute!” You protest, “You mean to tell me that magic doesn’t exist!”

Yes. Yes I do.

All things come at a cost. What is free for one always comes at the expense of another. Someone has to pay the price. Someone has to pay for the tortilla, the meat, the cheese, and the rice. Someone needs to cover the wages for teachers, the costs for textbooks, and the fees for building maintenance. Now look beyond the monetary realm and you begin to recognize the cost of other resources. Each of these costs time. They cost talent. They cost effort. Add upon that even more monetary costs to compensate laborers for the time, talent, and effort that they put into it. In economic reality, all goods and services are only provided from the expenditures and forfeitures of someone else’s resources. Once this is understood, then the argument can begin to change.

“Okay sure, someone has to pay for it. Those nasty rich affluent types can shoulder the burden of extreme taxation and wealth confiscation. However, the entitlements and benefits are entirely free to those who consume them!”

If only that were true.

Remember that cost are not solely limited dollars and cents. Consider the resources you give up to obtain the freebie. Consider the resources I put into obtaining my free burrito. My time and emotion were spent reading the news and media. My phone data and battery were spent replying to the promotion. My energy and effort was spent reassuring myself that E. coli wasn’t in my future. I had to spend some of my resources in order to get the freebie. Granted, my use of resources was miniscule by comparison. However, you cannot argue that I made no expenditure of resources. You cannot argue that the burrito was truly free.

I joke about the burrito, but the principles apply with all “freebies”. On the burrito scale, what you give up may not amount to much of anything. But what about the larger “freebies”? The social experiment “freebies”? Look beyond the monetary and fiscal economic impacts of entitlements. What resources will you have to sacrifice? What freedoms will you have to renounce?

Of all the resources we have, I fear that freedom is the one resource we are most eager to offer in exchange for the freebie. This is not because we despise personal freedoms. Rather, it is because our emotional and ideological aspirations get the best of us when the prospect of “free” dangles in front of our face. The misuse and misinterpretation of the concept of “free” unintentionally creates an atmosphere wherein the freedoms of the makers, AND the takers, will be trampled.

Consider the freedom of choice that so many of us consider sacrosanct. What impact would exorbitant entitlements have on your choice of school? Your choice of healthcare? Even your choice of lifestyle? In a world where freebies maintain the masses, what you are given is ultimately what you will get.

Imagine an average trip to the local Costco. Along the aisles you pass one booth after another, each offering a small morsel or sample from a promoted product. A belligerent consumer pulls from the freezer a selection of premium snacks, removes a handful of appetizers, and demands that the booth chef grill up the batch of food. How does the employee respond? She calls security to come drag the loon out of the store! Why? Because you don’t get to choose which free food gets cooked, and you certainly don’t get to choose copious amounts of free premium food to sample. In short, your choices are at the complete mercy of Costco.

In the world of freebies, what you see is what you get. You don’t get to negotiate quality or quantity. You will take what the giver offers or you are out of luck. Think about the implications of this concept if applied to education or healthcare. The proposed giver, in these cases the government, dictates the standard and limits the choice. You get what they offer, nothing more.

“What’s so bad about that? So long as everyone gets taken care of, why should it matter if there are no choices?”

This may seem like sound reasoning, as long as your wading ankle deep in the shallow pool of thinking. Though it may be uncomfortable, lets wade a little deeper into the waters of logic. Think about what this question implies and maybe ask some further questions:

Do you really like the idea of one-size-fits all education or health care?

How are the finite resources distributed?

What criteria is used to find the most deserving students or patients?

Who gets turned away when resources are depleted?

Who decides what is fair?

Who is the giver?

Are you comfortable being at the giver's mercy?

“No hold on a minute! This is nonsense! Of course you can still make choices for yourself!”

Certainly! You can choose premium care, premium food, and premium services… for a price. But if you are going to use that argument, you simply end up right back where the original problem started. The Have’s have and the Have-Not’s do not have. The only next intellectually honest step is to condemn everyone to a whole new class of Barely-Have’s. Image all the choices and options we will have then!

In addition to the freedom to choose, a freebie society would all but eliminate your freedom to earn. Contrary to the misguided beliefs of many, earning is not evil. Earning is not selfish. Earning is simply the process by which hard work, talent, and intelligence create benefit for the individual. If you can accept this as truth, then you must also accept that some will simply earn more in their lifetime. Some people work harder. Some people are more talented. Some people are more intelligent. Different levels of contribution ensure that there will always be different levels of earning. No handout or entitlement will change that.

The free-stuff model, as interpreted by the world, requires that a man do little, or even nothing. It is argued that by virtue of his mere existence does man deserve equal footing in regards to wealth and prosperity. Effort and merit be damned. Earnings should be confiscated and then redistributed in order to satisfy justice and improve living. However, depriving a man of his earnings also deprives him of his will, his drive, and his purpose. Just another unintended and unsettling consequence of a freebie society.

For some reason, we seem eager to vilify the earners and makers of society. There is a genuine resentment for all things affluent and wealthy. No consideration is made as to how the wealth was accrued. No thought goes into the blood, the sweat, and the effort exerted to obtain that level of living. Further ignorance overlooks the earner’s impact on employment, charity, donation, progress, and investment. Taker’s do not provide jobs. Takers do no donate funds to construct hospitals or schools. Taker’s do not risk personal wealth to invest in progress. These roles are filled by the makers. They are filled by the earners.

A man ought be recognized for his achievement and contribution. He ought to freely earn respect, accolades, and dare I say it… money. If something is honestly earned through legitimate merit, who are we to put a cap or limit on their achievement? Let the industrious earn wealth, praise, and distinction. Conversely, man ought to be recognized for his lack of achievement and contribution. Let the lazy and the greedy earn disdain, scorn, and criticism. Let mankind be free to exercise their freedom do earn. When given the chance, I feel that more good will be earned than bad.

Howard W. Hunter understood this concept of the freedom-sucking freebie. In a time when the ideologies of communism and capitalism clashed, he offered the following words in a address titled "The Law of the Harvest":

"The government will take from the 'haves' and give to the 'have nots.' Both have lost their freedom. Those who 'have', lost their freedom to give voluntarily of their own free will and in the way they desire. Those who 'have not', lost their freedom because they did not earn what they received. They got 'something for nothing', and they will neither appreciate the gift nor the giver of the gift."

I know there are problems in the world. I know that there are good people suffering in poor conditions. I know there are also bad people prospering in unjust conditions. I won’t pretend that such isn’t the case. However, fixing the problems with freebies is simply not the answer. Often the cost of free stuff is too high.

Struggling people don’t need another hand-out. More than anything, they need a hand-up. Who better to offer that hand-up than those who are on a higher economic plane? If you find yourself mired in economic struggle, don’t fight to tear down those who are in the best position to lift you up. If you find yourself in prosperous circumstances, don’t hesitate to contribute a free hand to help those around you.

Everyone loves free stuff, or at least the concept of free stuff. But not everyone understands the hidden costs of freebies. Keep that in mind the next time a politician campaigns on free-this and free-that. I could go on with a flurry of postulations and opinions, but I have a free burrito waiting for me downtown.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

Much of my writing follows the theme of family. Indeed my whole purpose for creating this blog was to provide my children with a firsthand account of their dad’s thoughts and memories. As I have hinted in the past, nothing means more to me than my family. My testimony of family importance relies heavily on the formative examples and experiences from my youth. That testimony continues to grow through adulthood alongside my wife and kids. I believe that family serves an eternal and spiritual purpose. This belief is founded on a special document. For those who wish to know more about my views on family life and purpose, I invite you to read “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”. I find its message notably applicable to our era.

The eternal function and purpose of family is eternal. However, there are some misguided constituencies that work hard to transform or entirely terminate the divinely ordained institution. These crusades follow the banners of “EQUALITY”, “DIVERSITY”, and “TOLERANCE”. However, such crusades frequently and radically miss their intended mark. The world eagerly pursues moral equivalence. Instead, it unintentionally achieves moral ambivalence. Tragically, such movements always produce more victims than victors.

It is easy to concentrate on the foretold calamities and devastations that emerge from the family dissolution. It is even easier to grumble about societal shortcomings. However, if our response to societal adversity is limited to puffing and pouting, then we giving up integrity and courage in favor of lazy finger-pointing.

If you pay close attention to the Proclamation, you will notice that only meager portion gives explicit attention to the calamitous consequences of failure in the home. In contrast, the remaining text focuses on our sacred duties and responsibilities within our own sphere of influence. This is what makes this sacred document so incredible. Although the Proclamation boldly addresses a grandiose world audience, it also earnestly calls out to individuals and families with no worldly significance. It is a proclamation to both the great and spacious, and the small and simple. The Lord intended it as such because His great works are brought to pass through small and simple things. The power to preserve your family does not reside in legislative chambers nor judicial halls. Rather, it is found in small and simple teachings, traditions, and truths.

This does not mean that we withdraw from public forum and debate. I do not advocate shrinking in the face of criticism. However, I am suggesting that we prioritize our efforts to defend and maintain the Lord’s model for families.

There is no need to overburden ourselves with society’s emerging and evolving definitions. In truth, the definitions of man simply do not matter. Every attempt to refashion, redefine, or remodel the familial unit amounts to nothing more than a feeble kick against the pricks. Kick as they might, these facts still hold true:

Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God

Family is central to the Creator’s plan

Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose

Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness

The sanctity of life is important in God’s eternal plan

These simple, yet profound truths will not bend nor adapt to the contortions and machinations of faulty mortal philosophy. Therefore, we can feel at peace even in the face of a taunting, shouting, and contentious society. We should note that the influences outside of the family are far less potent than the influences within the family.

Do you remember the last time you roamed past a rickety house? Conjure in your mind an image of a home with scattered shingles, rotted trim, and weathered windows. Think for a moment what forces might have caused damage to the house. You might imagine extreme weather such as heavy rain, scorching heat, or severe wind. Or you might simply blame the passage of time and the inevitable effects of age. While these external forces certainly contribute to a building’s defects, they ultimately do not condemn a structure to decay and destruction. History proves that the problem originates from within.

The forces of time, nature, and gravity cannot be avoided. Their influence exerts itself without prejudice and without discrimination. Yet despite their constant presence, many buildings endure the pressure for decades, centuries, and even millennia. In contrast, many buildings only last a few years, days, or even mere months. Why such a stark difference? Each one endures the same rain, the same wind, and the same sun. The root problem is something far more internal. The answer? Poor design, poor materials, and poor craftsmanship.

The best designers and builders understand this principle better than anyone. Rather than curse the forces far beyond their control, they dedicate their time, talents, and resources to constructing something of extreme quality. Such professionals habitually emphasize stability, reliability, and responsibility. They know that if such standards can be met, then no external force will have sufficient power to undermine the building’s integrity.

In a similar fashion, our sights should not be solely set upon external pressures. We know they are there and we know that they will always be there. But we simply cannot avoid the forces of animosity and adversity. Nevertheless, we can concentrate on building and maintaining our quality family unit. If that unit is built to the Lord’s celestial standards, then our families will stand the test of time and all eternity.

If our Heavenly Father is the great architect of the family, then The Family: A Proclamation to the World is His blueprint. His plan specifies that we observe the standards and principles requisite for celestial families. Chief among these principles are knowledge, duty, and charity. I invite you to explore with me how these three principles help us fulfill our sacred familial duties.

1) Knowledge

Knowledge of who we are, why we are here, and where we will go lays the solid foundation for family structure. The opening declarations of the Proclamation to the World allude to this fact:

ALL HUMAN BEINGS—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny…

IN THE PREMORTAL REALM, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life…

Our testimony of our divine heritage and potential affirms that we are already part of a celestial family, with a Father who loves and presides over all of us. He is aware of our concerns, our aspirations, and our weaknesses. Our knowledge of our Heavenly Father and His plan of salvation explains the institution of the earthly family and legitimizes its sacred role. Such foundational testimony provides the necessary bedrock upon which a solid family structure can thrive.

Our knowledge and testimony of these truths should be maintained and supplemented through study and prayer. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on the doctrines found within scripture. From scripture we obtain the teachings of Jesus Christ – namely faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome living. These teachings cannot be consistently practiced unless they are consistently reviewed at home.

2) Duty

Another recurring theme within the proclamation is duty.  Words or phrases related to duty, commandment, obligation, responsibility, and covenant stand out in the text an impressive seventeen times. Clearly the Lord is attempting to communicate with us the importance of duty. Such examples include:

…Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.

…Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness…and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens…

This sense of familial duty binds us to our families in a way that no legal document or legislation can. Take some time to think of the special duties you have in your family. What are your duties as a son? A daughter? Father? Mother? Husband? Wife? Sibling? How strong is that sense of duty? Now imagine what this life might be like if familial duty and responsibility were given adequate reverence. What societal ailments might be cured? Addiction? Poverty? Abuse? Neglect? Hate? Such is the power of duty.

The proclamation pointedly reminds parents that their obedience and responsibility is paramount to a healthy family. Whether you are parenting toddlers, teens, or grown-ups, the principle of duty will always apply.

3) Charity

If knowledge discloses who we are and duty dictates what we must do, then charity determines how we must act. The proclamation challenges us to:

…Love and care for each other and for [our] children.

…Rear [our] children in love and righteousness…

…Teach them to love and serve one another…

…Help one another as equal partners…

This is plain language that leaves no room for variation or rationalization. There is no adequate substitute for love and respect within the home. When present, love diffuses both public and private hostilities. John Hugh McNaughton emphasized this when he wrote:

In the Cottage there is joy

When there’s love at home;

Hate and envy ne’er annoy

When there’s love at home.

Roses bloom beneath our feet;

All the earth’s a garden sweet,

Making life a bliss complete

When there’s love at home.

This type of love and charity should also extend beyond the confines of the home. Children should see a parent’s example of respect and kindness towards others. This means following the Savior’s example to “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.” When children see this type of charity exercised on a consistent basis, peace will begin to exist at home and in the community

            It is my belief that harmony in the home is the essential ingredient to a happy and healthy society. My experiences, both from within my own family and from the examples of others, demonstrate that knowledge, duty, and charity create the peaceful and predictable atmosphere wherein children can reach their true potential. Rather than work yourself into a frenzy of fear and hysteria, I urge you to focus your efforts on maintaining a family frame that will endure any persecution.

The Bell Lap

In our home sits a large oak and cedar chest. Within it, I store all the gifts and mementos from my missionary service in Chile. Each item represents and catalogues a personal and spiritual experience that helped define the most formative years of my life. Among the most prized of these possessions I count a small brass bell. This simple bell was a gift from my mission president. Its value is not tied up in its design nor its composition. The bell’s appearance is ordinary and its craftsmanship leaves much to be desired. But the value of this gift extends far beyond tangible measurements. The value comes from the lesson which accompanied the gift. It is the lesson of the bell lap.

                The lap bell is a tradition unique to middle and long-track racing events. The lap bell functions as a key element in a runner’s strategy and overall success. You see, a runner’s success on the track depends on a lot more than their physical prowess or athletic ability. The best professional runners possess a more subtle skill, albeit a crucial one, that gives them a competitive advantage. These runners are experts at processing audible cues and responding to those cues with precision and aggression. Each sound, from the crack of the starting gun to the roar of the crowd, provides an important signal to the runner. But of all the audible signals available to the runner, perhaps none is as important as the lap bell.

                The lap bell sounds once the leading runner enters into the final lap, known as the bell lap. The ominous timbre of the bell initiates an abrupt change to the runner’s strategy. Upon hearing the bell’s reverberate tone, a successful runner receives the cue to push harder, to stretch further, and dig deeper. When you factor in the mental and physical exertion required for the prior laps, the bell lap can be a huge challenge. But unless a runner leaves every ounce of effort on the track, they will risk losing ground. Fractional seconds separate the victorious from the defeated, and fractional efforts determine which runner’s will emerge as champions. Championship runners know that glory and satisfaction belong to competitors who conquer the bell lap.

                 In the final weeks of my mission, my president gave me my own personal lap bell as a constant reminder to work a little harder and be a little better. I carried that bell in my pocket every day until the very end. Whenever my thoughts began to wander or lose focus, the muffled ring of the bell brought me back to an awareness of my predicament and my purpose. My mission had a guaranteed end. However, there was no guarantee that it would end well. That outcome had to be earned through effort and persistence. That outcome had to be earned on the bell lap.

                This life consists of a series of formative sprints and marathons. As we conclude each successive stage, we have to toil through some of life’s most pivotal and defining moments. Such moments may amount to a concluding basketball season, a final semester of school, or a fast-approaching end to a mission. In more sober circumstances, such moments may be experienced in the face or terminal illness or aged limitation. Each of these moments is an opportunity to realize our potential and improve our happiness. However, that outcome depends entirely on our willingness to exert our last bit of effort, our final shred of optimism, and our ultimate scrap of grit.

While some do rise to the occasion, a great many fail to conquer the bell lap. So what separates the contenders from the pretenders? Both exhaust the same energy. Both face the same temptations. Both even cover the same distance. Indeed, a casual analysis reveals very few differences between the two types. But the difference lies in which cues are received and followed. The champion follows the cues from the lap bell. The underachiever ignores the bell, ultimately following the promptings to shorten their stride and abandon their hope.

“I am tired”

“I’ve already done enough”

“It won’t make that much difference”

“C’s get degrees”

“It’s just one time”

“Close enough”

“It won’t matter in the end”

These attitudes only offer fictitious satisfaction and stunted potential. Once you let weariness and despondency determine your bell lap strategy, you have already condemned yourself. You have left no room for hope, no room for miracles, and no room for fulfillment. You will finish your lap. The race will end. But the only prize you will come away with is the grim understanding that the pain of regret stings far worse than the pain of effort.

                Now contrast that situation with the condition of those who stubbornly persist until the final stride. Do they feel pain? Ache? Fatigue? Of course they do. In fact, their persistence undoubtedly magnifies their temporary discomfort. However, their tireless perseverance secures the blessings and honors available to the conquerors of the bell lap. Not only do they enjoy a heightened sense of pride and satisfaction, but they also uncover a once dormant confidence and faith. Soon the temporal aches fade, being replaced altogether with the emotional and spiritual sensations of individual accomplishment and gratification.

The individual blessings of enduring to the end are substantial. But remember that a runner does not only race for personal gain. On the track, athletes wear uniforms bearing the colors and symbols of their kin and country. When they win, their nation wins. When they lose, their nation loses too.

Likewise, our personal persistence on the bell lap benefits the lives of others. You may not realize it, but others are watching. They may be friends, associates, and even family members. They too are hoping and praying for your example. They want to see your triumph, because it will inspire them to do the same. They want to observe your character, because it will help them develop their own. They want to witness your bell lap, because it will exemplify their own challenges. People need to know that even though victory may seem beyond reach, perseverance always leaves the door open to miraculous outcomes. Your example can accomplish that.

                Success on the bell lap depends entirely on your willingness to exert your last bit of effort, your final shred of optimism, and your ultimate scrap of grit. Remember the wisdom of President Abraham Lincoln when he said, “I do the very best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep doing so until the end.”

                May your attitude reflect that of Mr. Lincoln’s. May you take the time to recognize the bell lap cues in your own life. May you have to courage to push a little harder, and be a little better. I can promise that fulfillment, joy, and satisfaction await at the finish line.

What Your Mistakes Say About You

In a time long ago at a place far away, there were two quarrelling kings. A matter of honor had erupted between the two nobles, and the matter required a settlement. They reasoned together as to how they could best resolve the dispute. In short time, they determined that a duel would sufficiently satisfy their fued. The terms of the deal allowed each king to select any knight under their command as a proxy. The victorious knight would put the feud to rest in favor of his king.

On the day of the duel, both kings gathered with their respective courts and knights. The fervor and excitement had spread over both kingdoms causing many subjects to gather for the fight. They were eager to see which champions the kings would select and which would leave triumphant.

The first king approached the grounds standing tall and proud. He wasted no time introducing his chosen knight. His champion followed shortly after, emerging from a throng of adoring and cheering subjects. He stood even taller than the boastful king. The midday sun glimmered off his masterly crafted helmet and the colors of his kingdom covered his ironclad legs in majestic shades of gold and blue. The knight appeared both imposing and magnificent.

The crowd’s applause continued on with the arrival of the second king. With a simple gesture, he beckoned for his champion. The crowd’s ovations quickly slowed and sputtered. Before them stood a ragged and unappealing figure. The knight’s tarnished armor exhibited dozens of divots, notches, and gashes. Each blemish documented the mistakes and faults he had committed in battle. His dented breastplate indicated poor form. His scarred greaves implied weak balance. His frayed gauntlets revealed a lack of discipline. The baffled crowd jeered and mocked the king’s chosen champion. He was too flawed and too defective to beat his opponent. Victory seemed hopelessly out of reach for the second king.

The champions took positions, the bets were placed, and the crowd braced for a merciless fight. In an instant, both knights charged into battle. Each exchanged heavy blows and violent thrusts. To the surprise of all, the pristine knight could not match the strength and precision of the tarnished knight. After quickly gaining the advantage, the second knight dodged perfectly and struck ferociously. In short time, the first knight fell to his knees, battered and beaten. Unable to continue on, the first knight surrendered.

Astonishment flooded the crowd. The wise king’s court exploded with excitement and celebration. The unlikely hero stood powerfully over his unconscious opponent and the once doubting spectators now swarmed the victor. The conquered king navigated the jubilant crowd with his head hung low. He approached the wiser king and conceded defeat. Still baffled, the defeated king asked his opponent why he had chosen such an imperfect and flawed champion.

The wise king responded with a smile. Everyone else saw a man riddled with the marks of carelessness and waywardness. The knight was mistake-ridden, that much was certain. But when the wise king evaluated his champion, the knight’s errors revealed to the king a story that others would not see.

Nodding towards the ragged knight, the wise king spoke:

“A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his metal truly tested.”

The knight’s armor undoubtedly indicated that he had been tested, sometimes very seriously. Nevertheless, the wise king discerned that the knight’s mistakes provided him experience and motivation. When the time for battle arrived, his ability and determination proved the king right. His triumph over his faults made it easier for him to ultimately triumph over his foe.

One of the main purposes of this life is to face trials and tests. Some of your most fierce and challenging tests will be born from your mistakes. The consequences of your faults, sins, and offenses will test your metal and scar your soul. Mortality guarantees that we will all deal with the pain of imperfection. Understanding how your mistakes can affect your life will allow you to handle their consequences both honorably and admirably.

Some mistakes stay hidden and unnoticed. But other mistakes, like those of the tarnished knight, make their way to the surface. Once on the surface, our mistakes expose us to the perceptions and mockery of others. The scars from your errors can say a lot about you. Each blemish tells the story of a foolish decision, an irrational habit, or a short-sighted act. Each mistake may be unique in circumstance and severity, but they all say the same thing: You aren’t perfect.

That’s it. That is the bare bones message. It really is that simple. As human beings, we dutifully err all the time. Most times, your mistakes will amount to nothing more than minor scuffs and smudges. But in some cases, a sinful lapse of judgment can inflict deeper gashes or larger dents upon your soul. As significant as a mistake might be, it will never define you so long as you properly address the problem. No matter how bleak your situation please remember the following:

Your mistakes don’t disqualify your abilities.

Your mistakes don’t discount your contributions.

Your mistakes don’t invalidate your feelings.

Your mistakes don’t nullify your character.

Most importantly, your mistakes do not depreciate your inherent worth.

Even though our mistakes don’t condemn us, they should be taken seriously. Mistakes hurt. They have to hurt. Dealing with your faults and imperfections will lead you down an uncomfortable and inconvenient path. Cleaning up the mess of both expected and unintended consequences requires increased humility, trust, and reflection. The path of repentance naturally makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. This is why it is so difficult to admit to mistakes. But for those who can admit their mistakes and work towards correcting them, a mistake can trigger drastic improvements and cement moral growth.

Now, before you spend your efforts searching for opportunities to make mistakes in order to reach some super status, let me be clear. I am not suggesting that mistakes are good, and I am certainly not suggesting that you should actively and purposely mess up. We can learn many lessons without taking the lumps of failure and regret. There is nothing noble or superior about living recklessly. Make no mistake – the tarnished knight wasn’t a hero on account of his mistakes. The knight became a champion because he renounced his errors and conquered his faults.

Unfortunately, many individuals treat their faults and mistakes with indifference and frivolity, though they rarely afford others the same luxury. These consider the enhancement of their character secondary to their self-serving security. Instead of making life better for themselves and others, they choose to suppress the seriousness of their sins. These will say “It’s in my nature. This is who I am!” In essence, they allow their mistake to define them, and they are comfortable doing so. This philosophy aims to soothe offenders and validate scoundrels. This practice may offer a quick salve for wounded pride, but it will never conceal the glaring marks of error. As I mentioned, a single mistake is not the most accurate assessment of character. However, an apathetic effort to set things straight suggests a prideful, arrogant, and malevolent character. 

Contrast those individuals with those who humbly confess their wrongdoings. An endeavor to admit errors and correct mistakes suggests courage, wisdom, and pure intent. Contrite mistake-makers will not only help themselves, but their experience may also make a difference in the lives of others. Their resolute attitude may instill motivation. Their familiarity with failure will increase their compassion. Their humility may provoke others to admit fault. In short, they can offer so much more than an exemplary warning and a cautionary tale.

In the end, your efforts to address your mistakes will speak more to your character than any error, fault, or mishap. According to your determination and patience, you can overcome the imperfections that beset you. When you find yourself in the path of error, be wise enough to swallow your pride and take your lumps. Be willing to test your metal against the trial of repentance and improvement. If you do so, I can promise a deep and immediate satisfaction that will turn into long-term happiness and future success.

The Value of Life

At what price would you value a human life? Can you imagine a sufficient dollar amount? Generally, we would balk at the task of appraising the human experience into a tangible currency. Some vainly try to create adequate valuations on the human existence. Life insurance companies offer payouts from the hundreds of thousands into the millions of dollars. Some judges have ruled that a life’s dollar value may reach up to $16 million. Some people have even achieved platinum net worth status reaching into the billions of dollars. Yet, despite these colossal cash sums, the dollar signs never seem to sufficiently add up to the being they purportedly “represent”.

 Naturally, no currency will ever equate to the experience, influence, and odyssey of the human life. A life of love, struggle, joy, and growth cannot be whittled into quarters, dimes, and nickels. Were that to be the case, I imagine that human life would never achieve anything beyond the lowest levels of meaningfulness. Thankfully, experience has proven time and again that a single life can accomplish or achieve the unimaginable. The complexity with which we live each of our lives demonstrates just how priceless one life can be.

For anyone who possesses at least a shred of optimism, I feel this is one point that we can all agree upon: life is invaluable, irreplaceable, and inestimable. I presume you have head the poetic clichés heralding life, its glory, and its majesty. As flattering as the spoken word may be, sometimes it does nothing more than mask the cancerous trends that discount human life and mock our natural benevolence. Though our lips may honor the natural beauty of life, our hearts are often unfeeling towards its sacredness.

For some time, I have wrestled with these thoughts in my mind. Now that I get to enjoy the benefits of fatherhood, I have come to earn an unprecedented respect for the sanctity of life. This respect becomes even deeper as friends or family move on from mortality. Because of the life I have been given and the lives that have surrounded me, I am more whole and more fulfilled. Life increases my joy. Nonetheless, my joy encounters bold contrast of heartache, sadness, and death.

Society appears to be accepting and even celebrating practices that overtly discard, devalue, and dismiss human life. On a daily basis, I hear or view dialogue that praises abortion, sanctions suicide, or ignores genocide. While each of these acts disturbs me to my core, I think the thing that bothers me most is the attitude with which society approaches “life” related issues. We are too callous, too arbitrary, and too derisive in our treatment of life.

Understandably, these issues can evolve into highly polarized debates regarding morality and ethics. These topics have been debated ad nauseam in news-cycles and on campaign trails. At first, I had determined that enough is being said on the subject. But as of late, I have grown uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable with knee jerk accusations. I am uncomfortable with people’s attempts to build their résumé as “world’s most open-minded intellectual”. Above all, I am uncomfortable with the flippant and inconsistent attitude towards life, especially human life.

Why should we consider this attitude so heinous? Perhaps it is because such attitudes reject the feelings and responsibilities that make us human in the first place! Think about what it means to be human. Consider the following words and their corresponding definitions:

Humane – A characterization of tenderness, compassion, and sympathy for people, animals, and life.

Humanitarian – Having concern for or helping to improve the welfare and happiness of humans.

Humanity – The quality of being humane, possessing kindness, and showing benevolence.

Do these definitions seem consistent with the socially popular attitudes towards life? Doesn’t seem so does it? In fact, some other words come to mind: inhumane, dehumanize, subhuman, nonhuman.

I don’t strive to place a broad blanket of guilt and shame over society. I would point out that everyone, excluding a depraved super-minority, possesses humanitarian attributes. Naturally, most of us condemn murder and discourage suicide. The humane part of us knows these acts are wrong. 

However, we are sometimes erroneously selective in our feelings towards human life. This selective humanitarianism tends to increase unchallenged and unnoticed in modern society.

Probably the best way to illustrate what I mean by “selective humanitarianism” is to provide you with a few examples of its practice:

We plead and pray for the lives of depressed and suicidal friends, but some applaud the broad and liberal requirements for assisted suicide.

We demand protection for our local communities, but some willfully ignore the slaughter of men, women, and children seeking refuge.

We campaign for the protection of women and girls, but some keep their silence regarding the practice of gender selective abortions.

We scorn the senseless destruction of eggs, nests, and habitats of protected wildlife in order to give voices to the voiceless. However, discarding the life of viable unborn human life goes unchallenged.

These are all real, modern examples of selective humanitarianism.

I argue that life is not selective. Life is not a discriminatory moniker, susceptible to the changing whim of individual minds and circumstances. If that were the case, my life and your life would be forfeit as soon as it collided with the convenience or ambition of another human being. Can you imagine the chaos that would result from following that philosophy universally? Does scaling that philosophy down to the individual make that much sense either?

I prefer to see life as an inherent and self-evident designation. A designation earned through undeniable and unquestionable existence. Life is life, no matter from what angle you look. I witnessed this firsthand as I helped Chilean families overcome the emotionally crippling pain of a regretful abortion. I observed the lasting consequences of suicide in the lives of people who are left to pick up the pieces. In contrast, I witnessed the joy and satisfaction of forgoing abortion in favor of adoption. I have observed the enduring influence of a spared life. Life, by its very nature, is celebratory and sacred. In contrast, death is somber and mournful in any form or circumstance.

There is a lot to be said on this subject. Conversations regarding life can become complex and emotional. While the topic may be complex, we can still treat it with a high degree of respect. Life is too precious and important to treat it any other way than the way that it deserves.

Overreaction and the Parable of the Sewer Snake

I consider my rural upbringing a blessing. Overall, the comforts and experiences from country life benefited me more than a person might expect. That is not to say that our rustic lifestyle denied us some luxuries. Unlike our urban contemporaries, my family depended on a primitive sewer system. While most households never worry about waste beyond a daily flush, the Gulbranson house was inescapably attached to a nearby lagoon. Waste siphoned from the house found its way to the lagoon by means of simple tubes and plumbing. For the most part, the system worked efficiently. For the most part…

On the odd occasion, the system would malfunction. Cold winters and faulty tubing sporadically created issues that would require fixing. Seeing as my parents were frugal do-it-yourselfer’s, we often disregarded decades of advanced plumbing science and expertise in favor of cheap character-building labor. These were win-win situations: my parents got the problem fixed for next to nothing, and we siblings learned how to put up with other peoples crap.

On one occasion, the system malfunctioned during one of my parents trips to Seattle. I had hoped their absence would have warranted a visit from a professional. After all, a teenager with zero guidance or supervision could never hope to repair the problem alone. Plus, I was not eager to show up to my high-school smelling like a musty septic tank. But alas, my father arranged for Jared, my oldest brother, to visit our home to help me do the work. Jared’s lengthy experience with the family sewer qualified him for the unsavory job. Likewise, my age and position in the family hierarchy qualified me for the grunt labor.

That summer afternoon, Jared showed up to our house with all the necessary tools and equipment. The main piece was a heavy sewer snake rented from the local hardware store. Together, we heaved the sewer snake across the lawn and down into the lagoon. Knowing full well what awaited us in that lagoon, we walked gingerly around it’s shore, carefully avoid the blackened liquefied contents. Once we approached the drainage system, we set up shop and inserted the sewer snake into the obstructed tube.

The job was simple: remove the blockage from the system to allow the free flow of waste. My job was to extend and retract the snake as needed. Jared held the equipment steady as I dutifully cranked the handle back and forth and back and forth. No matter how careful we were, the job was never clean. Completing the work always meant getting your hands... um, dirty. In my juvenile wisdom, I forewent the choice to use gloves. Gloves made cranking the handle slow and inconvenient. I wanted the job done quickly. So I ignored Jared’s advice and worked barehanded.

After dozens of cranks, the snake extended far enough to reach the blockage. It took only minutes to break up the obstruction. All that was left was to retract the lengthy flexible auger. With great anticipation, I whirled the handle hurriedly. Every rotation brought us that much closer to job completion. Watching for the final length of auger, I focused on Jared’s hands as they guided the snake from the white pipe and into the coiled metal case. My carelessness would end up costing me dearly.

With a nasty jolt, the heavy metal crank stopped sharply. Jared looked back just in time to witness me yanking my finger from the tight coil of unforgiving metal. I jerked back my hand in immense pain, hopping and shaking it vigorously to soothe my throbbing index finger. When that failed, my brain followed up with the next instinctive action. Without any thought, I desperately raised my hand to my face.

Gasps immediately followed my action; first Jared’s and then mine. It was too late. My bare and soiled hand had passed beyond my lips and into my mouth. The realization was as rancid as it was embarrassing. In horror, I removed my finger and frantically spit at the ground. Between the gags and the dry heaving, I continued to spit. Jared watched, unable to breathe due to laughter. The pain of humiliation immediately replaced the pain of pinched fingers. All my family would hear of my mistake, and I knew they would not let me forget it.

In any other situation, such a reaction would have been reasonable. I’ve struck my fingers with hammers and other tools before and reacted in exactly the same way. Our natural reflex guides most of us to respond in such a way. In that light, my habitual reaction may have seemed sensible, if not logical. However, the circumstance and context of the situation made my reaction entirely foolish. 

Rather than react with levelheadedness and pragmatism, I allowed impulse and emotion to exaggerate my reaction. I had overreacted, and I ended up paying the price.

Thankfully, the price I had to pay was limited to a vulgar taste in my mouth and some minor shame. Minor consequences like embarrassment and inconvenience usually accompany overreactions like mine. But there are many instances when our overreactions carry heavier consequences.

In extreme cases of overreaction, we might have to endure disgrace, ill-repute, disaffection, heartache, or ridicule. Every time we freak out, lose our cool, or stew about, we place our reputation at the mercy of other people’s negative perceptions and estimations. Of course, our character is not defined by the opinions of others. But it is defined by our behaviors and attitudes. And as explained by Albert Einstein, “Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.” If we are serious about the quality of our character, then tempering our passion and disciplining our conduct become very advisable goals.

However, this type of discipline garners little respect in many societal circles. Instead, our grievance culture urges us to react, demonstrate, contest, and crusade against trendy evils and injustices. Fight back against police brutality! Stand against patriarchal bigotry! Resist income inequality! Abolish big game hunting! These calls to action are nothing more than invitations to overreact, wrapped in misapplied verbs and delivered in an envelope of shallow perception. Sure, the causes possess some elements of truth. Injustices exist and should be dealt with accordingly. However, most movements have evolved past the stages of activism and into the stages of overreactivism. This rapid evolution can best be accredited to the flagrant dismissal of facts, context, and expertise. Instead, the masses often establish credibility, truth, and reality in the form of likes, shares, of digital commentary.

This macrocosm of overreaction would be impossible were it not for the mortal weaknesses of the individual. The large scale dramatics give adequate testimony to our personal struggles with overreaction. We all possess a flawed degree of impulsiveness and sensationalism. Combining that flaw with ample opportunities to overreact allows us to perfect our imperfections. All experiences involving change, confrontation, criticism, and discomfort potentially serve as the catalyst for overreaction. The more piercing or vivid the experience, the more we feel compelled to overreact.

You, like many, might be fooled into the belief that you are above the frailties of overreaction. So, let’s assume that perhaps, on occasion, your behavior is less than saintly. Moreover, let’s take a more audacious step and imagine that you are an imperfect being. Do you think it possible that you possess a proclivity towards overreaction? Would you ever number yourself among the worrywarts, the defeatists, the hot-tempered, or the envious? If you would like an honest answer, you might find it by answering the following questions:

How do I react when my work is criticized?

How do I respond to genuine differences of opinion?

Do I even acknowledge that some differences of opinion are genuine?

Are my perceptions generally negative?

Do I immediately assume the worst of someone?

Can I candidly admit “I don’t know” when I don’t have all the facts?

Do I shift fault or blame without hesitation?

Do I temporarily dismiss my values on account of someone else’s weakness?

Do I stew at the success, fortune, or good works of others?

If you responded to this exercise of reflection with deep sincerity and self-candor, you likely possess a higher sense of composure. Naturally, we must not assume that you have the aura of perfection. In reality, you may struggle with multiple propensities towards overreacting. However, the fact that you were honest in your self-evaluation proves your capability of reflection and humility, both of which acutely contrast the practice of overreacting.

Others will respond to these questions less earnestly. This is to be expected – most of us fall into this category of denial and indifference. In our eyes, overreacting is someone else’s issue. We all like to pretend that we maintain a higher sense of levelheadedness or self-control. I cannot deny that there are some of us who are naturally calm and calculated. But for the rest of us, the habit of overreacting is a major stumbling block. If you are under this pretense, I urge you to remember that an overreaction is not limited to external outbursts or explosions. An overreaction is any response that is made more emotionally or forcibly than is justified. We can react irrationally in hushed speech, subdued thought, and even frigid acts.

In extreme cases, some people might respond to these questions with great offense, recoil, or hostility. If such is the case, we can very confidently diagnose such participants as overreactors. These are the people who fail to achieve a sentient or cognitive awareness of their behavior or attitudes. Disparagingly they will ask, “Who does he think he is?” Or they sarcastically quip, “Oh, he is one to talk!” They will fume, deflect, and belittle; it is what overreactors do. These reactions exemplify overreaction. Ironically, their disproportionate response betrays their own deep fight with emotions and maturity. To such is prescribed a healthy does of somber reflection and self-observation.

The overwhelming prevalence of heartache, betrayal, and mistrust in our world makes this topic exceptionally relevant. What prices have we had to pay for human overreaction? How many problems might we solve if we could approach them with dignity? How many compromises could we achieve if our responses were more measured? How much progress could we make if we acted more deliberately? Can you imagine what your personal life might look like in these conditions? Can you imagine what our world might look like?

I firmly believe that societal change and progress stems from the individual. With that in mind, I feel that addressing our personal habits of overreaction might be a good place to start. I say these things from the position of one who overreacts in every possible way; from the hidden boundaries in my mind to the open interactions in my community. And while my position does not presume the mantle of leadership, it does allow me to opportunity to invite.

Therefore, I invite you to continue shaping your character. I encourage you to avoid hastiness and impulsiveness. The more often you can react considerately and appropriately, the more often you will leave a positive mark in this world.