What Your Mistakes Say About You

In a time long ago at a place far away, there were two quarrelling kings. A matter of honor had erupted between the two nobles, and the matter required a settlement. They reasoned together as to how they could best resolve the dispute. In short time, they determined that a duel would sufficiently satisfy their fued. The terms of the deal allowed each king to select any knight under their command as a proxy. The victorious knight would put the feud to rest in favor of his king.

On the day of the duel, both kings gathered with their respective courts and knights. The fervor and excitement had spread over both kingdoms causing many subjects to gather for the fight. They were eager to see which champions the kings would select and which would leave triumphant.

The first king approached the grounds standing tall and proud. He wasted no time introducing his chosen knight. His champion followed shortly after, emerging from a throng of adoring and cheering subjects. He stood even taller than the boastful king. The midday sun glimmered off his masterly crafted helmet and the colors of his kingdom covered his ironclad legs in majestic shades of gold and blue. The knight appeared both imposing and magnificent.

The crowd’s applause continued on with the arrival of the second king. With a simple gesture, he beckoned for his champion. The crowd’s ovations quickly slowed and sputtered. Before them stood a ragged and unappealing figure. The knight’s tarnished armor exhibited dozens of divots, notches, and gashes. Each blemish documented the mistakes and faults he had committed in battle. His dented breastplate indicated poor form. His scarred greaves implied weak balance. His frayed gauntlets revealed a lack of discipline. The baffled crowd jeered and mocked the king’s chosen champion. He was too flawed and too defective to beat his opponent. Victory seemed hopelessly out of reach for the second king.

The champions took positions, the bets were placed, and the crowd braced for a merciless fight. In an instant, both knights charged into battle. Each exchanged heavy blows and violent thrusts. To the surprise of all, the pristine knight could not match the strength and precision of the tarnished knight. After quickly gaining the advantage, the second knight dodged perfectly and struck ferociously. In short time, the first knight fell to his knees, battered and beaten. Unable to continue on, the first knight surrendered.

Astonishment flooded the crowd. The wise king’s court exploded with excitement and celebration. The unlikely hero stood powerfully over his unconscious opponent and the once doubting spectators now swarmed the victor. The conquered king navigated the jubilant crowd with his head hung low. He approached the wiser king and conceded defeat. Still baffled, the defeated king asked his opponent why he had chosen such an imperfect and flawed champion.

The wise king responded with a smile. Everyone else saw a man riddled with the marks of carelessness and waywardness. The knight was mistake-ridden, that much was certain. But when the wise king evaluated his champion, the knight’s errors revealed to the king a story that others would not see.

Nodding towards the ragged knight, the wise king spoke:

“A knight in shining armor is a man who has never had his metal truly tested.”

The knight’s armor undoubtedly indicated that he had been tested, sometimes very seriously. Nevertheless, the wise king discerned that the knight’s mistakes provided him experience and motivation. When the time for battle arrived, his ability and determination proved the king right. His triumph over his faults made it easier for him to ultimately triumph over his foe.

One of the main purposes of this life is to face trials and tests. Some of your most fierce and challenging tests will be born from your mistakes. The consequences of your faults, sins, and offenses will test your metal and scar your soul. Mortality guarantees that we will all deal with the pain of imperfection. Understanding how your mistakes can affect your life will allow you to handle their consequences both honorably and admirably.

Some mistakes stay hidden and unnoticed. But other mistakes, like those of the tarnished knight, make their way to the surface. Once on the surface, our mistakes expose us to the perceptions and mockery of others. The scars from your errors can say a lot about you. Each blemish tells the story of a foolish decision, an irrational habit, or a short-sighted act. Each mistake may be unique in circumstance and severity, but they all say the same thing: You aren’t perfect.

That’s it. That is the bare bones message. It really is that simple. As human beings, we dutifully err all the time. Most times, your mistakes will amount to nothing more than minor scuffs and smudges. But in some cases, a sinful lapse of judgment can inflict deeper gashes or larger dents upon your soul. As significant as a mistake might be, it will never define you so long as you properly address the problem. No matter how bleak your situation please remember the following:

Your mistakes don’t disqualify your abilities.

Your mistakes don’t discount your contributions.

Your mistakes don’t invalidate your feelings.

Your mistakes don’t nullify your character.

Most importantly, your mistakes do not depreciate your inherent worth.

Even though our mistakes don’t condemn us, they should be taken seriously. Mistakes hurt. They have to hurt. Dealing with your faults and imperfections will lead you down an uncomfortable and inconvenient path. Cleaning up the mess of both expected and unintended consequences requires increased humility, trust, and reflection. The path of repentance naturally makes us feel vulnerable and exposed. This is why it is so difficult to admit to mistakes. But for those who can admit their mistakes and work towards correcting them, a mistake can trigger drastic improvements and cement moral growth.

Now, before you spend your efforts searching for opportunities to make mistakes in order to reach some super status, let me be clear. I am not suggesting that mistakes are good, and I am certainly not suggesting that you should actively and purposely mess up. We can learn many lessons without taking the lumps of failure and regret. There is nothing noble or superior about living recklessly. Make no mistake – the tarnished knight wasn’t a hero on account of his mistakes. The knight became a champion because he renounced his errors and conquered his faults.

Unfortunately, many individuals treat their faults and mistakes with indifference and frivolity, though they rarely afford others the same luxury. These consider the enhancement of their character secondary to their self-serving security. Instead of making life better for themselves and others, they choose to suppress the seriousness of their sins. These will say “It’s in my nature. This is who I am!” In essence, they allow their mistake to define them, and they are comfortable doing so. This philosophy aims to soothe offenders and validate scoundrels. This practice may offer a quick salve for wounded pride, but it will never conceal the glaring marks of error. As I mentioned, a single mistake is not the most accurate assessment of character. However, an apathetic effort to set things straight suggests a prideful, arrogant, and malevolent character. 

Contrast those individuals with those who humbly confess their wrongdoings. An endeavor to admit errors and correct mistakes suggests courage, wisdom, and pure intent. Contrite mistake-makers will not only help themselves, but their experience may also make a difference in the lives of others. Their resolute attitude may instill motivation. Their familiarity with failure will increase their compassion. Their humility may provoke others to admit fault. In short, they can offer so much more than an exemplary warning and a cautionary tale.

In the end, your efforts to address your mistakes will speak more to your character than any error, fault, or mishap. According to your determination and patience, you can overcome the imperfections that beset you. When you find yourself in the path of error, be wise enough to swallow your pride and take your lumps. Be willing to test your metal against the trial of repentance and improvement. If you do so, I can promise a deep and immediate satisfaction that will turn into long-term happiness and future success.

The Value of Life

At what price would you value a human life? Can you imagine a sufficient dollar amount? Generally, we would balk at the task of appraising the human experience into a tangible currency. Some vainly try to create adequate valuations on the human existence. Life insurance companies offer payouts from the hundreds of thousands into the millions of dollars. Some judges have ruled that a life’s dollar value may reach up to $16 million. Some people have even achieved platinum net worth status reaching into the billions of dollars. Yet, despite these colossal cash sums, the dollar signs never seem to sufficiently add up to the being they purportedly “represent”.

 Naturally, no currency will ever equate to the experience, influence, and odyssey of the human life. A life of love, struggle, joy, and growth cannot be whittled into quarters, dimes, and nickels. Were that to be the case, I imagine that human life would never achieve anything beyond the lowest levels of meaningfulness. Thankfully, experience has proven time and again that a single life can accomplish or achieve the unimaginable. The complexity with which we live each of our lives demonstrates just how priceless one life can be.

For anyone who possesses at least a shred of optimism, I feel this is one point that we can all agree upon: life is invaluable, irreplaceable, and inestimable. I presume you have head the poetic clichés heralding life, its glory, and its majesty. As flattering as the spoken word may be, sometimes it does nothing more than mask the cancerous trends that discount human life and mock our natural benevolence. Though our lips may honor the natural beauty of life, our hearts are often unfeeling towards its sacredness.

For some time, I have wrestled with these thoughts in my mind. Now that I get to enjoy the benefits of fatherhood, I have come to earn an unprecedented respect for the sanctity of life. This respect becomes even deeper as friends or family move on from mortality. Because of the life I have been given and the lives that have surrounded me, I am more whole and more fulfilled. Life increases my joy. Nonetheless, my joy encounters bold contrast of heartache, sadness, and death.

Society appears to be accepting and even celebrating practices that overtly discard, devalue, and dismiss human life. On a daily basis, I hear or view dialogue that praises abortion, sanctions suicide, or ignores genocide. While each of these acts disturbs me to my core, I think the thing that bothers me most is the attitude with which society approaches “life” related issues. We are too callous, too arbitrary, and too derisive in our treatment of life.

Understandably, these issues can evolve into highly polarized debates regarding morality and ethics. These topics have been debated ad nauseam in news-cycles and on campaign trails. At first, I had determined that enough is being said on the subject. But as of late, I have grown uncomfortable. I am uncomfortable with knee jerk accusations. I am uncomfortable with people’s attempts to build their résumé as “world’s most open-minded intellectual”. Above all, I am uncomfortable with the flippant and inconsistent attitude towards life, especially human life.

Why should we consider this attitude so heinous? Perhaps it is because such attitudes reject the feelings and responsibilities that make us human in the first place! Think about what it means to be human. Consider the following words and their corresponding definitions:

Humane – A characterization of tenderness, compassion, and sympathy for people, animals, and life.

Humanitarian – Having concern for or helping to improve the welfare and happiness of humans.

Humanity – The quality of being humane, possessing kindness, and showing benevolence.

Do these definitions seem consistent with the socially popular attitudes towards life? Doesn’t seem so does it? In fact, some other words come to mind: inhumane, dehumanize, subhuman, nonhuman.

I don’t strive to place a broad blanket of guilt and shame over society. I would point out that everyone, excluding a depraved super-minority, possesses humanitarian attributes. Naturally, most of us condemn murder and discourage suicide. The humane part of us knows these acts are wrong. 

However, we are sometimes erroneously selective in our feelings towards human life. This selective humanitarianism tends to increase unchallenged and unnoticed in modern society.

Probably the best way to illustrate what I mean by “selective humanitarianism” is to provide you with a few examples of its practice:

We plead and pray for the lives of depressed and suicidal friends, but some applaud the broad and liberal requirements for assisted suicide.

We demand protection for our local communities, but some willfully ignore the slaughter of men, women, and children seeking refuge.

We campaign for the protection of women and girls, but some keep their silence regarding the practice of gender selective abortions.

We scorn the senseless destruction of eggs, nests, and habitats of protected wildlife in order to give voices to the voiceless. However, discarding the life of viable unborn human life goes unchallenged.

These are all real, modern examples of selective humanitarianism.

I argue that life is not selective. Life is not a discriminatory moniker, susceptible to the changing whim of individual minds and circumstances. If that were the case, my life and your life would be forfeit as soon as it collided with the convenience or ambition of another human being. Can you imagine the chaos that would result from following that philosophy universally? Does scaling that philosophy down to the individual make that much sense either?

I prefer to see life as an inherent and self-evident designation. A designation earned through undeniable and unquestionable existence. Life is life, no matter from what angle you look. I witnessed this firsthand as I helped Chilean families overcome the emotionally crippling pain of a regretful abortion. I observed the lasting consequences of suicide in the lives of people who are left to pick up the pieces. In contrast, I witnessed the joy and satisfaction of forgoing abortion in favor of adoption. I have observed the enduring influence of a spared life. Life, by its very nature, is celebratory and sacred. In contrast, death is somber and mournful in any form or circumstance.

There is a lot to be said on this subject. Conversations regarding life can become complex and emotional. While the topic may be complex, we can still treat it with a high degree of respect. Life is too precious and important to treat it any other way than the way that it deserves.