The Gender Debate

I have critical views towards the feminist movement. To be more specific, I am critical towards modern and contemporary feminist theory and philosophy. I applaud brave women who in times past risked life and limb to claim their rights to the ballot, an education, and land ownership. It is my belief that no human being ought to be denied these rights. All people ought to be able to experience the blessings and hardships related to the pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness. However, I feel many of the current feminist ideals work counter-intuitive to those principles.

I don’t say these things in jest or with lightheartedness. Truth be told, I have taken my time to really consider my feelings concerning this topic. I recognized that shooting first and asking questions later is one of the most reprehensible tactics used by both shallow-minded feminists and chauvinists. Rather than join the fray of venomous opinions, I have decided to play the role of silent observer. I have observed the gender debate in the context of protests, controversies, politics, and even faith. For a while I have felt the need to express to you my thoughts on the subject and why they are important. But every time I felt motivated to write about it, I also felt that I could not adequately express my thoughts and opinions so as to be understood.

My ideas and opinions make me a pretty solid target for many people. Those who tend to think counter-culturally will garner criticism and they should welcome it. But along with the legitimate criticism also comes the mudslinging. Those of my ilk and thought are discredited with a colorful combination of expletives and insults like scum, abuse-apologist, bigot, and supremacist. The more radical the opposition, the more radical the vilifying. So before I continue, I want you to know exactly where I stand. Above all, I want you to hear it from me and not someone else.

My view and attitude towards womanhood and motherhood is one of sacredness and reverence on par with manhood and fatherhood. There is just as much need for strong and capable women in our world as there is for competent and reliable men. My life is filled with exemplary women. I have a wife, a mother, sisters, and friends that I can look to for strength, encouragement, and support at any moment. They are entrepreneurs, creators, scholars, leaders, athletes, coaches, providers, and much more. Thankfully, you kids will also know these women as well. So there will be no mistake among the fair and reasonable minded that I have considerable respect for women.

There is no denying that history has not been kind to women. Everyone is aware of the barbaric and inhumane treatment women have endured for centuries. Some of that barbarism continues today in the remote corners of the globe. Yet, despite the historical cruelties and failures of men, you should not ignore the immense respect and admiration given to women during that time as well. You will be told that that such attitudes never existed. But you should consider how history has personified some of humanities most noble values. I invite you to look at the symbolism behind Lady Liberty, Columbia, France’s Marianne, Germany’s Germania, Athena, Artemis, or Rosie the Riveter. Personified in these women are virtues such as freedom, power, peace, wisdom, self-reliance, industry, and heroism. Their existence does not excuse any historic injustices, but it does prove that many societies have held sacred attitudes towards women.

Feminism would have us believe otherwise. Today, feminist movements have evolved from a campaign for equality and decency into a crusade of over-correction and hypersensitivity. For these, and other reasons, I feel that feminism as it exists today does not adequately address the needs and concerns of women.

With that in mind, I have to give feminists one thing. They are excellent at finding problems. Given enough time and a large enough audience, they will discover flaws in movies, games, sports, foods, words, phrases, statues… just about anything. Don’t get me wrong; there is always room for critical thinking. However, obsessiveness can deprive you of any redeeming value in the entertainment and enjoyment that life has to offer.

Sometimes a story is just a story. Sometimes a game is just a game. For most of us, movies, books, games, or groups can be valued for what they really are and what they offer us. But under the intense scrutinizing lens of gender criticism, feminists are not content to leave some things alone. Once a perceived injustice or inequality is found, they have another platform upon which to pass on their deep and educated analysis.

Let’s use the movie industry as an example. We look at beloved characters like Katniss Everdeen (Hunger Games), Hermione Granger (Harry Potter), Mattie Ross (True Grit), Leia Organa (Starwars), or Beatrice Prior (Divergent) and we find them refreshing. Strong female characters who challenge gender dichotomy and stereotypes are wildly popular, even among men! These characters masterfully maintain grace and poise while simultaneously kicking butt and taking names! Finally, some characters everyone can admire and get behind.

“Not so fast.” says the ever aware feminist. “This is simply another subliminal ploy originating from the oppressive patriarchy!”… (Queue the collective eye roll and sigh from the general public). “These women aren’t challenging gender roles!” they protest. “They are simply adopting the negative male roles that the ignorant masses love. Underneath the pretty smiles and flowing hair, they are no more than the aggressive, daring, risk-taking, and uncompromising men that persecute us!”

Considering the motivations behind this criticism, I feel confident in my assumption that many feminists would be terrible authors. They clearly have no clue what elements create a good story. Their thought process says, let’s ignore the fact that these women are characters of a greater story. Let’s ignore the fact that compelling characters have weaknesses and struggles that earn our respect and admiration. Additionally, let’s ignore the setting, circumstance, and conflicts that are present within their respective worlds and storylines. Let’s ignore their individual motivations and actions. At the heart of it all, the only acceptable female characters are the ones who change the world around them with stereotypical feminine attributes. Perhaps all female characters would be more acceptable fitting the “Legally Blonde” mold.

“Of course!” screams Princess Leia smacking herself in the head. “Why didn’t I think to compromise or simply talk things over with Darth Vader? Surely he would have listened to reason. Who knows, he may have seen things from our point of view and brought about massive reform in galactic policy.”

I digress.

There is a place for non-violence and compromise. In almost any situation those paths are considered long before any sort of violence. I happen to enjoy many stories that follow those paths. However, feminist thinkers and intellects are way too quick to point out negative traits like emotional inexpressiveness and violence. Even worse is their need to label those traits as inherently masculine. On the other hand, affection, cooperation, and nurturing are inherently feminine. This comes from their own research and theory. So why the distinction? From a feminist perspective, is not that categorization a wild departure from their most basic principles? Was not Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) an example of nurturing, charity, and understanding? He was obviously not limited by his gender nor his circumstances. We look at him not only as a good man, but a laudable person.

Feminist efforts like this are aimed at a virtually impossible task. You cannot be dedicated to both modifying and maintaining the gender trait contrast. It should not exist in the first place. Positive traits are positive for everyone. Decisiveness, action, and boldness are all traits are as positive for women as well as men. Charity, creativity, and sensitivity are equally important to both genders as well.

When you dig a little deeper into its criticisms and philosophies, modern feminism struggles to make its message and actions harmonious with its own stated virtues. This disconnect triggers an even bigger disconnect between the public and the feminist movement. The divide leads feminists to place blame on everyone else but themselves. It can’t possibly be their fault. Once they adopt the feminist label, all narrow minded thinking and ignorance magically and suddenly gives way to a clearer vision and higher tolerance. Such is the belief.

The disconnect starts in the inconsistency and inaccuracy of modern feminism’s aim. Time after time, their actions and grievances give legitimate pause for doubt and ridicule. Despite what they think, the ridicule is not a result of misogyny or hate. It is simply born out of identifiable hypocrisy and absurdity. I can offer two examples where this is apparent.

Example 1:

There is a lot to be said about the objectification of women in media. Happily, I find myself agreeing with activists who express concern with overt sexual content in video games, movies, and advertisements. “Finally!” I say to myself. “This is an issue we can agree on.” Sadly, it won’t take long before double-standard enters the picture. With the same voice that feminists decry the objectification of women in video games, they will deify celebrities and pop artists for promoting sexual empowerment. Stars like Miley Cyrus and Beyonce are the champions of this crusade. They make it explicitly clear through their performances that women ought to take control of their sexuality through promiscuity, lewdness, and exhibitionism. This means more power in their eyes, and more power is akin to more equality. How anybody can justify this duplicity is beyond me.

While video games are largely marketed towards men, there are no statistics indicating that misogyny and sexism are on the rise. In fact, the opposite is true. I might add that I do not advocate continued objectification in these industries.

Now look at the target audience for Beyonce’s pop music. Without a doubt, it is appealing to young women and teenagers, specifically minority girls. In those demographics, unwanted pregnancies remain disproportionately high and self-esteem and self-image issues have reached epidemic levels. No one is suggesting Beyonce or Miley are 100% behind these consequences. However, a number of studies do find strong correlations between the aforementioned issues and the cultural media messages communicated to young women. Is it possible that this may be more harmful to women than video games and advertisements?

Example 2:

Vast populations of women and girls face nightmarish conditions and practices that are real and disgusting. Detailing each one of these egregious acts would require another article altogether. Scores of women have to deal with body mutilation, forced marriages, education bans, exploitation, legally sanctioned abuse, censorship, and many more abuses. For these women, these are not once in a lifetime events or freak incidents. These are daily realities forced upon them by twisted men and even other women. Surely these injustices are at the forefront of the feminist campaign.

How I wish that were true. By watching the news today and following the existing movement, you will see them highlight very different crusades. The list of grievances is as lengthy as it is trivial: being called “bossy”, tax subsidized birth control, title IX athletic equality, perceived gender pay gap, war on women, men’s health classes, Walt Disney movies, cyber harassment, twitter environment, gamer industry inclusion, nudity freedom on Instagram, banning the phrase “rule of thumb”, unrealistic physical standards for special armed forces, feminist biology classes, and so on. The anger and rage associated with these campaigns burns hotter and hotter. But imagine the good that could be accomplished if all the energy and rage were appropriately aimed.

Liberal feminist modus operandi leads me to believe that taking political stances and getting your way seems to be more important than the message itself. Earlier this week, Utah State campus was to host a lecture session from a prominent feminist activist. The evening prior to the event, a despicable excuse-for-a-human-being penned a lengthy warning to the university. The letter explained that if the university were to go ahead with the lecture, a violent shooting would occur with firearms and pipe bombs. Clearly this was the work of an insecure and cowardly loser who is incapable of protecting their fragile ego. Never is it acceptable to express disagreement in such a way. USU took the threat seriously, considered the safety of the event, and responded appropriately by offering to beef up security and involve higher authorities. The reaction seemed appropriate and swift. Yet, in spite of the increased security, the activist opted to cancel the event. Her reason: Utah’s concealed carry gun laws.

Now she was well within her rights to cancel if she felt her safety was an issue. Let it be noted, that this is not the first time she has received death threats for these events. However, it is the first time she has cancelled her event citing gun laws as a reason. Apparently, her taking a stand against gun laws was more important than the message she was originally scheduled to give.

What a wasted opportunity. Rather than really make a statement about the value of her message, she sold it for another unrelated cause. How much more powerful would her message have been if she decided to stay? Doing so would have boldly told her enemies that she would not be intimidated. She would have exemplified the same courage and fearlessness suffragist’s from the 19^th and 20^th centuries showed when they were brutally beaten for their message. Think of the case her bravery would have made about the character of women. Instead, she squandered the opportunity for petty politics and protest.

At the root of it all, modern feminism has a culture problem that clouds the judgment of its disciples and invites the criticism of its opponents. Culture is the base for many of current issues and struggles. It is no different in the world of feminism.

It is a culture that demands the adoption and unconditional acceptance of its premises, ideologies, and principles. It is widely advertised that one has to be feminist to care about women. Anything other than that is hateful and intolerant. Reality suggests something different. You don’t need to be a feminist to respect women. You don’t need to be a feminist to identify wrongful acts, prejudices, or negative attitudes towards women. All you need is to simply be a decent and intellectually honest person.

It is a culture of thought-police, censorship, and mob-rule. Dissenting opinion and open dialogue are not accepted virtues, although they would have you believe so. The worst control and coercion is reserved for women themselves. If you fall in line with the new and popular thinking, by all means, speak up and let your voice ring out. Got questions or criticisms? At best, you are an uneducated simpleton. At worst, you are among the vilest creatures to ever pace the Earth who is worthy of every pernicious insult, calamity, and tragedy life can hurl at you. With epic irony, modern feminism has managed to silence and alienate both men and women equally.

It is a culture or problem finding, not problem solving. Feminism supposedly promotes the inclusivity of women in all industries and walks of life. If such is the case, why have feminists advocated for university degrees in “women’s studies”? Wouldn’t it seem more logical and agreeable with their message to place more emphasis on science or arts? What is the purpose of women’s studies? If it is to help women, aren’t there other studies that can accomplish that? If you are interested in being a force for good in the world of women, why not pursue a law degree? It could be used to legitimately protect women’s rights at home, at work, or just about anywhere. Concerned about women’s healthcare? Try a medical degree or doctorate where you help women one on one. Concerned about abuse or women’s emotional needs? Try a career in the field of psychology where you can actually make a personal and tangible difference in the life of a struggling woman or girl. These are paths of problem solving, not problem finding.

Would I ever consider myself a feminist? I think you already know my answer. I have limitless respect for the women in my life, family and friends alike. There exist many principles and values within feminist circles that I support with all of my heart. More often than you think, I find myself having common ground with feminists that I know. When I do disagree with them, I can do so without being disagreeable. Nonetheless, the simple answer is a resounding no. I feel that answer will not change for me either.

I had previously warned you about culturally popular crusades that appeal more to emotion than reason. For the reasons I have stated above, I feel modern feminism falls within that category. I cannot in good conscience accept a label like feminist for the same reason I will never accept the label of masculinist. There is nothing uniting, amiable, or welcoming about either label. Both labels in and of themselves hint at an “us versus them” mentality.

Why would I ever want to associate myself with a group whose message is equal parts polarizing, convoluted, unclear, and potentially harmful? Instead, I advocate for something more cooperative and reasonable: Just be decent and fair, to both men and women. I don’t know if you would label my philosophy as equalism or humanism. I am inclined not to care so much what you call it, so long as you pattern your life and attitudes in a similar fashion.

If you would like to understand a little more about my frame of mind, I invite you to take a look at the Factual Feminist series hosted by Cristina Hoff Sommers. Most of my thoughts and opinions are closely related to her work and research.