Rub some dirt on it!
Shake it off!
Hold your knee!
Suck it up!
Take it like a man!
Walk it off!
How many times have you heard these words, or at least some
variation of them? For your sake, I hope you hear them often. This is no news
flash: life is tough. Sometimes it is ridiculously tough. At the end of every
man’s rope, there is a new rock bottom previously undiscovered. At the depths
of every rock bottom, you may find that you have reached all new lows. Once you
have fallen to record lows, you may find yourself far enough down to be in the dumps.
This helpless tumble into heartache and despair can weigh you down until you
feel you have reached even hell itself.
When we are in the middle of our ill-fated free-falls,
probably the last thing we want is for someone to tell us to “shake it off!” “Get your
head in the game!” or “Get over it!” Often it is the thing we need to hear
most.
Long-suffering is a noble characteristic that few people
know of, and even fewer people possess it. The name itself can be a little
misleading. A long-suffering person is not an unlucky, injury-prone, miserable,
or cursed being. A long-suffering person does not endure misfortune for
extended periods of time. A
long-suffering person does not play a victim in an endless tragedy of loss,
trial, or calamity. Long-suffering goes far beyond these shallow and inaccurate
representations.
Long-suffering is the ability to patiently overcome lasting hardship and adversity.
This is a quality that I feel separates the perpetually happy from the
incessantly sad. It is a quality that I hope all my children will develop. It
is a characteristic that I work on constantly. Sometimes I am pretty good at
it. Other times it escapes me completely. But the difference it makes in my
life has been intensely obvious. I would like to share with you a few thoughts
on what makes this quality so unique and beneficial.
Long-suffering is the ability to PATIENTLY overcome
lasting hardship and adversity.
Patience is a huge part of what it means to be
long-suffering. It is necessary because the period during which you will suffer
is very long. I would argue that some people suffer for their whole life to
some degree. Some people are born with severe illnesses and disfigured bodies that
will never be made right in this life. In spite of this, they do more to
inspire happiness and courage that any able-bodied athlete or celebrity. These
people candidly challenge the misconception that suffering is the antithesis of
happiness. They prove that one can suffer and be happy simultaneously. In fact,
I would argue that one cannot fully understand what it is to be happy without
mortal dose of suffering. So when you suffer, be hopeful. Be grateful. Be
patient.
Long-suffering is the ability to patiently OVERCOME
lasting hardship and adversity.
Long-suffering is not a passive human characteristic. It is
not enough to simply endure and outlast the problems that life will inevitably throw at us. Rather, we must overcome them.
I grew up with a group of fantastic friends. I have one
friend in particular that I have always admired. We spent many years playing
sports together and having some great experiences during high-school. A few
years ago, his younger sister disappeared under mysterious circumstances. Her
disappearance shocked the community and sparked a massive search to find her.
Thus far, the efforts to find her have yielded little results and she remains
missing. It has been a very harrowing and difficult experience for my friend
and his family. Yet despite the heartache and suffering they have experienced,
they choose to overcome and not just to endure. Rather than seclude themselves
to a life of angst and silence, they continue to search. They continue to raise
awareness. They continue to inspire hundreds of people with their efforts. They
are not enduring their tragedy. They are overcoming it.
When seen from this perspective, long-suffering is a call to
action. It is a call to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. There is work
to do. There are people who need you. There are changes that need to be made. When you suffer, don’t just endure your
trials. Don’t just outlast your trials. Overcome them.
Long-suffering is the ability to patiently overcome LASTING
hardship and adversity.
This is probably the toughest thing to acknowledge when we
talk about long-suffering. Sometimes the suffering is indeed, very long. Life
itself is a long series of punches. We are presented with hardship after hardship.
At times, it seems like they never may end. Maybe they won’t. Understanding
what role hardship and grief play in our lives is important. There is no
success without hardship. There is no happiness without grief.
There is not a single moment, but many defining moments where
we must make a choice. We can choose to settle for being miserable, give in to
our personal flaws, and not reach our true potential. Or we can choose to be
long-suffering by overcoming our hardships today while believing someday our lives will
be better. I would prefer to choose the later.
Human beings have an incredible ability to make life miserable. We are so good at finding trouble, and even better at letting trouble find us. However, what is more incredible is our ability to turn our misery into victory. We have turned bloodshed and tyranny into freedom and prosperity. We have turned hatred and ignorance into peace and understanding. It will be hard, but remember that within you exists a transcendent ability to turn your rock bottom into a solid foundation.
